Strongest Pokemon ever?

I remember the days when the Base Set 120HP Charizard with the 100-damage Fire Spin was one of the most sought-after cards. How times change. Look at the strongest cards now:

This card may be funny to someone who's never seen a Chuck Norris card before but in truth it's a lousy card. Why? Because although the card says you win the game if you damage the opponent, you'll notice that this card cannot deal any damage. It's a catch. And since "Beard of Protection" prevents you from getting damaged, the game ends in a stalemate. Bad.

"Godlike" Pokemon, lol...

Resistance? It's futile.

His HP? It's OVER 9000!!!!!...sorry, couldn't resist. (bet you don't get it anyway)

Not too funny either. Not even a good card compared to the others, this one's only got 5000+ HP.

My personal favourite. This was actually modified from a Steelix card if I'm not mistaken. That's where the description at the bottom of the card comes from.

"Chuck Norris Never Retreats"

Notice he has no HP? Hmm...

The best part is at the top of the card, look: Stage 1 Pokemon. Evolves from Jesus...

No offence, Christians.