The SPM Conspiracy

The words in the picture speak for itself.

Hello, Form 5 students of 2010,

A year ago I was like you - cramming massive amounts of information into my head (figuratively of course) and frantically trying to read that BM novel for the first time - was it Panas Salju, or Konserto Terakhir?

Well.

Except, of course, that that wasn't true. Except for the fact that I hadn't finished either Malay novel of course, beyond a 10-minute flip-through a few months prior.

The takeaway is not to worry about SPM. I know, I know - I'm a little late, SPM's almost over and boy! - you really could've used this little info earlier. But then, there's no harm in you having worked hard up till now. If anything, it'll only help you, especially if you're ambitiously and/or foolishly planning to do your A-Levels (or, touch wood, IB) in Singapore.

The SPM Conspiracy is nothing more than what you'd call moderation. Do you really think I got over 90% for my Sejarah paper? Hell no. And given that I'd never touched 90% ever for English BM Physics Chemistry and Add Maths in Forms 4 and 5, do you really think that I magically got over 90% for all those subjects in SPM too? (I have of course gotten over 90 for Mod Maths before - it is a joke after all (and if you think Mod Maths is harder than Add Maths, then you my friend have screw loose somewhere) and don't get me started on Moral)

Obviously, a metaphorical representation of our current
political scenario - i.e., it doesn't make sense.

Basically, what (I guess) good ol' MOE does it to take everybody's results (it should be a bell curve) and then set the cut-off points for the grades accordingly. They do this, I imagine, so that they can control how many people fail/pass the subjects, which is obviously important to the government; if we were all failing, then there would be no more BN (oh no I just thought of a really interesting idea...).

So maybe it's true that you only need 8 marks to pass SPM Add Maths. All I know is, there is no way that the cut-off point for the A+ grade was 90% for every paper. And hence the rest of the grades follow. If you've never gotten an A in your life - don't fret, this may be your first.

But let's also be real here. SPM is harder, definitely, than PMR. PMR is like ice cream. SPM is like omelette and coffee. And if that doesn't make sense to you, then you obviously haven't gone for a Biro TataNegara course yet.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is, enjoy this time while you have it - you never know when some country might offer you a scholarship and whisk you away before you really start your holidays to study amongst many insane geniuses from Vietnam. After SPM, go to a mamak shop with your friends and eat all the roti you want. Clog McDonalds in the early hours of the morning. Camp over at someone's house and watch Paranormal Activity together. The point is, you are young. There is hell waiting for you after the merry-go-round that is SPM. After SPM you have the big roller coasters, the ones that really take you where you want to go, if you don't die along the way.

When we were young...

I survived on this piece of logic throughout secondary school. Why work so hard? As long as you're above  the average for everything, the Conspiracy will do the rest. No need to be at the top, just the upper half will do. It worked for me. My shaky BM marks, always hovering between an A and a B, became solid As during all my public exams.

So as far as SPM is concerned, don't worry too much. Unless you're going for the trap (well depending on how you look at it) that we call the JPA scholarship, there's really no need to pull in straight A+s. By all means, go for it. But don't die trying.

Post-SPM, however, is a completely different ball game. This is where the Conspiracy leaves off and Reality swoops in to kick your ass and tell you to buck up. And the room for messing up is almost non-existent. Anything less than straight As for your A-Levels will mean almost certain rejection from the top universities, if that's what you're gunning for.

What am I trying to say here? I have to admit I'm confused - 11 years of Malaysian education will do that to you. But besides inundating you with too many Malay poems/ traditional prose/novels/plays and Moral 'values', it does also give you that room for fun and innovation; what you choose to do with it is up to you.

This guy needs a woman, seriously.

I chose to use that flexibility to skip Malay classes to 'run errands' (we did that a lot) and work on old Windows '95 computers stuffed with viruses. I chose to use that time to move around class and play games with my good buddies. In fact I filled many useless, redundant and boringly unnecessary classes with new things - breaking the normal routine for school, something you'll probably appreciate by now. I helped teachers and made connections, I managed to get some inside information on small things, I bonded with friends - for a good chit-chat, nothing beats sorting out and keying in exam results, or cleaning and arranging store rooms, or fixing outdated printers.

So maybe I'm trying to say, don't worry about SPM. Or maybe I'm telling you to have fun now in case you ever decide to go to Singapore? Still confused. Most likely, I'm just attempting to show you how things were fun for me - and still can be - if you put in the effort. 10 years from now, you're not going to care about the times you stayed in BM class like a good boy only to learn nothing and get that A. You're going to remember taking half an hour to hand up your class' homework to the teacher in the staffroom, and then going to the toilet before (whoops) picking up another errand on the way back to class.

Just a clarification - please don't skip BM class. I have to tell you this because I cannot obviously condone skipping classes of any sort, however, as young adults (the administration's favourite phrase) you're trusted to make your own decisions. And that, is the Malaysian system).