Is Amy Chua a Monster, or Does She Just Believe In Her Kids?

Read an excerpt from Chua's book, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" and judge for yourself.

"A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:

• attend a sleepover

• have a playdate

• be in a school play

• complain about not being in a school play

• watch TV or play computer games

• choose their own extracurricular activities

• get any grade less than an A

• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama

• play any instrument other than the piano or violin

• not play the piano or violin."

So starts the excerpt at the link I have posted up there. Reading it, you get a rough sense of what Amy Chua  - a woman who is now at the centre of a fierce debate over parenting - is like. Could you say she's narrowly obsessed with piano and violins? That she disregards the potential benefits of gym and drama? But those are the small things. At the heart of the matter is her style of parenting, and whether or not it's truly the best way in the end.

I felt quite strongly about this when I first read it, and I'm inclined to blast Amy Chua and swear at her uncontrollably for the harsh (there's no denying that) way that she has treated her children. However, realising that it's best not to blog in a rush (that and I have to seriously study vectors - blasted maths) I'm just going to put this up here and let everyone else read it first. So I'll write about it - but later.

But essentially the problem that presents itself here is: Is she a horrible, mean parent who is excessively demanding and insensitive of her children's feelings, or is she just someone who believes that her children are capable of so much that she has to push them to it?

I'll not go into my answer deeply now, but I think that the Western and Chinese parents, to put it loosely, have got it wrong; I think the Buddha hit the nail on the head when he said the Middle Way is the best way. It wasn't pure overindulgence or strict asceticism that brought him to enlightenment, but the path of moderation and control.

UPDATE: "Amy Chua is a Wimp" - NY Times
While I'm not calling her a wimp, the article presents an interesting different take on what Chua has written about, saying that perhaps she is the one holding her kids back from the real challenges.