`cirque.

Where Are Our Priorities?

2011-11-06T23:50:00.002+08:00

Malaysia has as of late been suffering from an ignorance of its priorities. Left and right, people are hounding politicians on the wrong issues, and politicians are kicking up fusses about the wrong issues, and the media ends up reporting them all.

Let me sum up. I am a frustrated, stressed student about to sit for his A-Levels, and all I hear about are idiots talking about PPSMI with no idea what it's supposed to do, morons who can't realise the real problem isn't which language but how good it is, religious crazies who would rather devote their time to crushing homosexuality rather than corruption and over-aged Mat Rempits who seem like they're having mid-life crises, and have taken to demanding a freakin' race track when the economy is doing badly and people need public money spent on something else.

Come on, people.

PPSMI

(To read what I mean and want to say, but better phrased, go read this article)
http://www.malaysia-today.net/mtcolumns/guest-columnists/44764-ppsmi-malaysia-in-the-lost-world

What a stupid issue. What a moronic, utter waste of my time. As I sat here earlier today trying to study for my A-Levels (i.e. trying to do something intellectual) it hurt me, it almost literally hurt to read about idiots talking about PPSMI and Standards of English and preserving the Sanctity of Malay when in actual fact *none* of these things are even related!

Let's get things straight. If our objective in introducing PPSMI is to raise the standards of English = bad idea.

If our intention in implementing PPSMI is to teach our students crucial subjects of global importance in the lingua franca of the world = good idea.

If you think learning Science and Maths in English will erode the importance of Malay/make people less patriotic = you sir need an education.

Honestly. Don't even bother dredging up arguments like 'We don't need Science/Maths in English to excel in these areas globally!' or 'But why the hurry to learn English, everyone wants to learn Mandarin!'. For goodness' sake just shut up and think for a moment.

Sure, the Japanese do their science schtick without relying on English. So just because they do it, we should stick to teaching it in Malay? Hell no! The Japanese, unlike Malaysians, have strong local universities that allow them to study competently in their own language. What do we have? UM? The in-and-out-of-the-top-200 UM? If we are to send students outside to study, like JPA is doing now, how the hell can we send them to the UK or Russia or Australia or New Zealand and have them say karbon dioksida instead of carbon dioxide?

Everyone wants to learn Mandarin, yes. But if you're implying Mandarin is therefore more important, why are you not suggesting we teach Science/Maths in Chinese? Once again, these stupid arguments arise because people don't know Jack Crap about priorities.

Let Me Tell You What Our Priorities Are

1. Good standards of English. Not by the PPSMI programme, but by teaching English at a higher level, with better teachers, with longer hours, and with more importance. If I could come from an English-speaking family and learn very competent Malay, there's no reason for you to insult rural/kampung folks by saying they'll not keep up with English.

Adding on, the PPSMI is supposedly being abolished because we lack teachers capable of teaching in English. What, did it take Bodoh Nasional 10 years to realise our teachers couldn't speak English? These are the same people who rushed into implementing PPSMI without securing the infrastructure first. And now that the infrastructure has been built somewhat, instead of improving if further they insist on scrapping it. It's a misalignment of priorities. It was never English vs. Malay, it was always about Good English vs. Bad English.

2. Good standards of education. Let's not even talk about being able to maintain our cultural integrity when the price of that is being incompetent. If you want kids to learn Science and Maths in Malay, fine - give these kids good schools to study at, good universities to study at. If they still have to go overseas to get that Medicine degree, then you sure as hell better let them learn in English. Until then, the *real* problem is that our standards of education don't measure up.

PPSMI won't mean anything to the kids unlucky enough to be going to a dead-end school where no single teacher wants to teach (or can teach) and where leaky roofs are common. They are stuck in a rut either way. Before we can consider preparing these kids for the big wide world, we have to make sure they can survive in their own country first.

But that's not all we're confused about...

Homophobia

Now this is another issue people are making way too much fuss about. And this goes the same for the Opposition as well as the Government. Here we are, facing a possible double-dip recession with economies in Europe collapsing, and corruption still rotting away our system, and all people give a shit about are homosexuals! Talk about priorities!

While PAS was busy hammering away at Elton John's concert and doing their bit to drive away legitimate opportunities for our entertainment and tourism industry, cronies in UMNO were still getting contracts and siphoning money off the rakyat. While the police were busy banning Seksualiti Merdeka, Shahrizat and her inept children were doing a bad job producing cattle.

Are you kidding me, people? When you want to go after the sinners, go after the big sinners. Honestly, I do not have a problem with homosexuals. I know that many people do, and I can see why even if I don't agree. But you'd have to be pretty stupid to prioritise demonising gays and spreading homophobia when there are bigger fish to catch.

This is just like our Islamic authorities who would spend a lot of time catching beer-drinkers while the corrupt and the liars go free. Last time I checked with a Muslim friend, corruption outranked alcohol consumption big time when it came to sins.

And last time I checked, corrupt politicians were hurting our country with their culture of cronyism way more than homosexuals are thought to endanger our integrity and 'Easternness'. Let's get it right people. You want to say that gays hurt society. Well, adulterers hurt more people than gays. Motorists hurt more people than gays. Politicians hurt a lot more people than gays. Heck, ultraconservative religious types hurt more people than gays (case in point, Pastor Terry Jones - the idiot who wanted to burn Qurans. Or Westboro Baptist Church, the morons who picket the funerals of gay soldiers).

Let Me Tell You What Our Priorities Are

1. Stamping out corruption. It is ridiculous to be so concerned about homosexuals when there are 'bigger sinners' to catch according to peoples' books. My whole life growing up, I was never threatened by gays or lesbians or transgenders. But I was threatened by the system of corruption, of entitlement, as was everyone. Shouldn't that take priority over fighting over sexuality?

There, just that one priority. There are others but this problem is so big I believe it supersedes almost anything else. Corruption. Ineptitude. Inefficiency. Why should the fisherman on the West Coast give a damn about Elton John and his ways when his own government is plundering his country and taking as much money as it can?

Bersih 2.0: A Film Review

2011-09-06T18:21:00.000+08:00

The short story:Deftly balancing action, humour, political drama and social issues, ‘Bersih2.0’ weaves many separate story elements into one streamlined epic. Najib AbdulRazak has managed to create a film event outside of Hollywood’s current ‘darkand gritty’ reboot sensibilities, while maintaining a distinctly Malaysianidentity.

Pictures of the Bersih Rally courtesy of Wong Ee Chong.

The Setup

First-time director Ambiga (centre) is known for collaborating with
prominent politicians both inside and outside of Malaysia.

Only a few months prior, theBersih 2.0 film project was an indie film under the helm of first-time director Ambiga Sreenevasan. Although a respected veteran producer in the film industry, pundits placed low bets on Bersih 2.0 and thegeneral consensus was that it would bomb at the box office.

As luck would have it, however,the Malaysian government saw the project’s potential and promptly took over theproject, financing its special-effects budget, manpower needs, publicity andviral marketing while retaining Ambiga as director and primary screenwriter.

The result is an unforgettablefilm that emerges from the droll of the typical summer blockbuster period – amodern piece that asks enough serious questions on serious issues yetdistinguishes itself from the dark and gritty style that has come to define thepost-Batman Begins film scene. NajibAbdul Razak’s first producing credit is a well-deserved one. To examine howthis became more than just another film – it was a film event – I will examine the entirety of the project, right downto the marketing preceding its release, its casting process and its popularityupon release.

The Cast

It is impossible to speak ofBersih’s success without acknowledging the stellar ensemble cast the film hasmanaged to gather together. One of the greatest highlights of the cast iscomedian Ibrahim Ali, most famous for his role as the far-right conservativeand extremist Perkasa leader. Making a cameo in Bersih in his most popularrole, Ibrahim steals the show with what little time is allocated him – here thescript compliments his abilities by throwing him plenty of outrageous lines andcontroversial statements to work with.

Ibrahim doing his most famous stand-up comedy routine,
the 'Racist Short Fat Guy'.

Also worthy of praise is HomeMinister Hishamuddin’s tongue-in-cheek role in the film as…himself. Hishamuddindrives the bulk of the political drama’s plot twists and machinations – as HomeMinister in the film, he undercuts Bersih’s attempts to hold their historicrally every way he can, even overriding PM Najib’s attempts at compromise. Moreon the plot later.

We died laughing.

Not forgetting producer NajibAbdul Razak in a breakout performance as (also) himself – for a first-timeperformer, Najib seems almost born to play the reluctant, flip-flopping leaderat the middle of the drama. He even manages to cast his character as a slightlysympathetic, tragic anti-hero, a leader of a political party that is railingagainst him; this is also balanced nicely by the comic relief provided byRosmah Mansor and her hilarious onscreen antics (involving ridiculously-sizeddiamond rings, comically ugly and expensive handbags and a disgusting amount ofmakeup).

It’s also worth noting veteranactor Anwar Ibrahim as Najib’s primary political foil – despite playing thepolitician on the side of popular dissent, Anwar’s character is cast more as apolitical chameleon holding firmly to his utilitarian beliefs. One scene inparticular, where Anwar dramatically feigns injury, adds both weight and levityto the film; a paradox that has to be seen to be understood.

Bersih wasn't Anwar's first dramatic role.

The Story

It is the retrospective view ofthe film that grants Bersih 2.0 much of its weight. For every issue the filmbrings up, it also raises a counterpoint to question those initial notions andultimately leave the audience to decide. Who really won on the 9^thof July? The people? The politicians? And who is really behind the whole Bersih debacle? (Hint: It’s not necessarilyBersih or the Opposition).

Pictured: The mastermind laughs in glee.

As mentioned earlier, the film isboth a clever political drama and a satirical piece not short of humour. Thereis even a dash of summer blockbuster action, no doubt an exaggerated account ofthe protestor-police aggression, added to the mix. Half the film depicts theweeks leading up to Bersih, and this is where the bulk of the political dramaoccurs. From Bersih’s attempts to obtain a police permit, to its designation asan illegal entity, and later the PM’s last-ditch compromise for a stadium (onlyto be overridden by his Home Ministry) keeps the pace of the film goingsteadily, with the occasional interjection by Ibrahim Ali, the IGP, a Silatorganisation and Khairy Jamaluddin to lighten things up. Overall,writer-director Ambiga strikes just the right balance between serious andfunny; this film finds its kin more in IronMan, than, say, The Dark Knight.

The scenes chronicling the rallyitself are of course the main highlight. While we have been treated to anoverdose of ‘shaky-cam’-style cinematography with many recent horror flicks,here the format works by providing much of the realistic feel for the rally.(Plus, the camerawork isn’t really that shaky). The chaotic set pieces here –KL as a warzone, overrun with tear gas and blasts of water raining down on thecrowds – do much more in terms of action than a Michael Bay-esque series ofexplosions.

But it is in the post-rally thirdact where Najib’s producing touch really becomes apparent. Some clever splicingof scenes and flashbacks keeps the pace fresh and the laughs coming – onememorable scene has Health Minister Liow Tiong Lai proclaiming loudly “Therewas NO tear gas fired into Tung Shin Hospital!” followed by a quick flashbackto a gas canister flying over the walls of said hospital. And like many other ‘truestory’ films, it ends with an almost sombre collection of facts and figures,complete with heart-tugging imagery.

The Marketing Campaign

He made Bersih an offer they couldn't refuse.
Then he took it away.
It just screams 'Academy Award'.

Like many great films, it was aviral marketing campaign which propelled Bersih 2.0 into the nationalconsciousness. And most of the credit actually goes to the cast themselves fortheir ‘in-character’ marketing strategy. In fact, the campaign mimicked much ofthe film’s first act in that it featured characters from both sides of thepolitical divide (and some in between) in a war of words over the campaign. Buttwo brilliant tactics sent anticipation skyrocketing; one was the ingenious useof both the mainstream and non-mainstream media to generate some antagonisticcontroversy. Millions followed the mock newspaper headlines of the day, usuallycontaining one or two controversial remarks from Ibrahim Ali or Hishamuddin,while the cyberspace campaign focused on milking the hilarity and controversy.

The second tactic was the abilityof the campaign to interact with the public. Followers of the campaign wereable to hold ‘Town Hall’ sessions with politicians, recite poems with nationallaureate A. Samad Said and sign petitions, among other things. The level ofrealism made for a deadpan campaign that coolly ran with its obviouslytongue-in-cheek references. The public, predictably, had high expectations ofthe film.

Reception

Bersih 2.0 opened to a recorddomestic box-office take, and posted encouraging earnings in its limitedinternational release. While it underperformed in countries such as the US(analysts point to its re-titling as ‘Clean 2.0’) and Thailand (where censorsfeared that certain lines such as ‘waging war against the King’ might instigatelese-majeste charges), the film met with general public enthusiasm in Russia,China, and Cuba.

'Missio dei'!

Critically, Bersih 2.0 receivedrave reviews. The Wall Street Journal noted that the film ‘pulled out all the stops’ in delivering an entertaining aswell as thought-provoking film. Critics in Vatican City noted with approval thefilm’s ‘strong pro-faith themes’, commending what they described as the‘advancement of the Christian agenda subtext’. Similarly, Chinese critics foundappreciation for the film’s more subtle thematic issues concerning the‘communist agenda, which has long been misunderstood and…[manipulated]’,undoubtedly a reference to a scene where Parti Sosialis Malaysia (PSM) memberswere being arrested. Even Kim Jong-il enjoyed the film; he is reported to havescreened the film for his circle of advisors to promote ‘its values andprinciples, which mesh perfectly with the Jucheconcept our Eternal Leader has left us’.

He likes it better than K-pop.

Most notably, the film may havepotentially thawed, to some degree, the relations between Malaysia and Israel.Israeli critics, and even some notable Israeli politicians, have commented howit ‘is surprising, and heartening, that the Malaysian government would permitthe screening of a film with such obvious Zionist leanings’. Could actualbilateral relations between Malaysia and Israel materialise?

A common point of agreementbetween many critics was that Bersih 2.0 was largely successful in its attemptto capture the ‘epic’ nature of such a story, with one noting that ‘theattention to detail in its setting and design comes second only to the Lord ofthe Rings trilogy’ and that director Ambiga Sreenevasan had ‘created thedefinitive Malaysian political film of the decade’.

Most importantly, the film is entirely, and undoubtedly, Malaysian; its themes of corruption and people power, the shady political dealings of establishment as well as the opposition, and the beautifully-shot cinematography show off the good (and bad) of the country. The only thing missing was a plate of nasi lemak (though for just RM 5.99 you could get a Nasi Lemak + Teh Tarik combo at most GSC/TGV outlets to go with your cinematic experience).

And now we leave you with more beautiful screenshots from the film:

Coming Soon

2011-07-17T21:55:00.000+08:00

Slacking isn't what it used to be. Slacking used to mean blogging. Anyway coming soon is an article I'm writing about the Bersih 2.0 rally a week ago - very late and I'm definitely striking when the iron has already cooled down somewhat but wait for it.

Meanwhile go to www.recom.org/remagv2 and sites.acjc.edu.sg/wpress for stuff to read. It won't hurt, I promise.

Father of Transformation?

2011-06-01T00:27:00.000+08:00

http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/in-youths-najib-looks-for-shield-against-pakatan/

“If in Egypt one million youths gathered in Tahrir Square to change that country’s leadership... in Malaysia, one million youths gathered to defend Putrajaya,” he said.

“Are you willing to defend Putrajaya?” he asked repeatedly, to cheers from the 8,000-strong crowd.

One million youths packed into a 8000-strong crowd? Either The Malaysian Insider has got its math wrong or I overestimated Najib's intelligence.

I'm kidding. The assembly was a 3-day thing, from what I gather, and one million is the total number of visitors to the place over the 3 days. But I doubt one million people gathered to 'defend' Putrajaya...more likely just to have some fun at what looked like a pretty hip festival - after all, out of the one million in three days (i.e. about 300 000 a day) only 8000 turned up for Najib's inspirational little speech.

“Some call me the Father of Transformation; I don’t know [if the description is accurate], but you all are the catalysts of change,” he said.

And who exactly calls you the 'Father of Transformation'? Ibrahim Ali? Trying to coin a name for yourself by 'subtly' slipping it into declarations like this is...pathetic.

And to answer your question, no [it is not accurate].

http://themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/youth-assembly-a-hit-with-young-malaysians

Many were clad in jeans and hotpants, although some took to wearing T-shirts and button badges bearing Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak’s smiling visage and what has become his administration’s motto: Transformation.

Hotpants? Oh no. Najib, you're going to have a field day with Ibrahim Ali banging on your door demanding to know why you had disrespectful immigrants displaying such counter-culture at a sophisticated event, or Hishamuddin will be calling those people 'dirty' before you know it.

The Shawshank Redemption

2011-05-28T01:32:00.000+08:00

With the brief window of respite the post-exam holiday is offering me (meaning, just the weekend), I watched The Shawshank Redemption. Most everyone else zipped off right after their last papers to catch Pirates, or Kung Fu Panda 2, or Thor (why did no one watch Insidious?). In the vacuum between now and the time X-Men: First Class comes out, I instead played a 1994 movie for myself.

Everyone should see The Shawshank Redemption.

Shawshank was a total failure at the box office, but Warner Bros. thankfully put it out strong on video, where it finally made its mark. Now it's the highest-rated movie on IMDB - and for good reason. I don't know if it's the greatest film of all time - how can we tell, anyway? I've also watched another No. 1 contender, The Godfather...also great, very different - but it's the kind of film that makes failing your Chemistry paper feel small, and more importantly, fixable.

It's really the simple, bare-bones acting and scripting that gets this 2-hour 15-minute a great hold on your attention. Morgan Freeman and Tim Robbins don't do sociopathic, erratic characters, or Magic Negroes, or any other gimmicky role with the right quirk to earn awards. They simply act normal characters - one unlucky, one time-worn.

What's at the heart of this film? A story of hope? Redemption? But whose? Andy and Red don't seem to redeem themselves to me. One was never a criminal to begin with, but became one; the other really was a criminal, but worn by prison. When the film starts Red already seems a good man, and Andy too. They do good deeds and help each other out, they work hard. But what do these things really mean?

Maybe it's being able to pick yourself up from rock bottom. "They send you here for life, and that's exactly what they take". Maybe it's about being able to take your life back. Going further, it could even mean a larger redemption, about setting the system right - it is after all the Shawshank redemption, not the Andy Dufresne Redemption or the Red Redemption. To that end it seems justice becomes a part of that equation. And when that justice plays out you'll cheer.

Half the story is also predictable. You may think someone will die, and you'll likely be right. The lousy movie doesn't care less and shoves at you a recycled, cliched plot. The good movie is original and gives you new things you don't expect. But the best films are organic. 'Organic' means that the film goes naturally, and so rather than be predictable, it makes things inevitable - and sometimes all the more powerful for it. An organic film does not always have a first-act setup, a second-act build and a third-act climax to wrap things up in a nice bow. It's the story of lives that goes along day by day until a point where it just reaches an ending. People making organic films just take the lives with the best stories and best endings and put them to film. This is one of them (it came from a Stephen King novella, though).

That same quality lends it some unpredictability too. No, sudden explosions don't happen, but you don't exactly know what the film is getting at in the end; action films you know will peak with a brawny showdown to take down the antagonist, but natural films just lead you along much like life itself. Quite often it actually does end with taking down an antagonist, because that's the payoff, but it never feels 'put in'.

That's not to say the film wasn't well-planned, because clearly it was - details the characters mention early in the film resurface later on, inverting the figurative and making it literal, and hypocrisy becomes irony. The little bits and pieces all make sense, and in the end actually does tie up into a nice bow.

Shawshank has strong language and some prison violence, but it also has a Will Smith Inspirational Film style without the Disney dialogue and the actual Will Smith. Andy is a man too clever for prison, and Red is the man who stands himself up not from suffering in prison, but suffering out of it. And really, if you have the time and no money to watch any of the summer flicks on offer now, The Shawshank Redemption is as good a film to watch as a few, and definitely much better than most.

A Christian Takeover Conspiracy? Really?

2011-05-11T01:20:00.001+08:00

Because of course, nothing scares voters like aggressive religious machinations.

In its last gasps of desperation ~~Perkasa~~ UMNO (oh come on we know it's you) has resorted to playing the over-used religion card. And 'overused' really is the most apt term here.

Just like the annoying +4 Wild Card.

Obviously, everyone's totally terrified that Malaysia will one day throw open its doors and invite Pope Benedict XVI to come over and rule Malaysia (never mind the Christian-Catholic differences, I doubt Ibrahim Ali can tell them apart) and eventually make pork consumption more widespread than it already is, to the horror of Muslims in Malaysia.

But here's a few simple reasons WHY there's (probably) no Christian conspiracy to take over Malaysia and knock Islam off its sacred position:

1. Christians are a small minority in Malaysia.

Christians make up only roughly 9% of our population - only one in ten of us are Christian, and then most of them are probably living in a long house somewhere in East Malaysia. Awfully difficult to muster enough numbers to push for such a change when most of the people you'd like to canvass for support are being kept down and shackled by - surprise, surprise - Barisan Nasional. People who only worry about day to day living probably couldn't care less which religion's the official one - if it doesn't put food on the table, who cares?

Even Condoleezza Rice says so.

2. The DAP cannot get a majority in Parliament (oh yeah, and it's not a Christian party)

In 2008, the DAP contested only 47 seats, way short of the 112 seats it needs for a majority in Parliament, and far less than the 148 seats it needs to amend the Constitution. Oh, and it only won 28 seats. If the DAP indeed intends to change the Constitution, where on Earth will it get the votes? Even if Pakatan rakyat came into power, there is no way PKR or PAS would allow them to change the nation's official religion. And even if they became the majority party, getting 2/3rds of the vote is awfully difficult when you're up against all those other parties.

Just do the math, morons.

Hey, it's not A-level math or anything.

Oh yeah, and it's not a Christian party. It is a multiracial, but Chinese-majority party. How does that equal Christian? A social democratic party, yes, even a socialist party, but not religious in any way whatsoever.

3. A Christian Prime Minister Isn't Unconstitutional Anyway (So Why Go To All The Trouble?)

Oh yes, and there's this little niggle in the whole let's-change-the-Constitution-so-a-Christian-came-become-PM argument; you can just become the PM even if you're Christian. The Prime Minister, according to the Constitution, need only be someone who, under the reckoning of the YDP Agong, can command the confidence of the majority of the members in Parliament. Heck, it doesn't even need to be the leader of the majority party (though mathematically of course if your party is the biggest and they trust you enough to be the party's leader, you'd likely have the numbers).

So why go through all the trouble? If the DAP is conspiring to get a Christian into the PM's office, all it has to do is put forward a candidate who can appeal to Malaysians across race and religion, and can command the majority of the 222 MPs in Parliament...wait, why's that a bad thing again?

Yeah, since Malays are the majority, then the PM will likely be Malay. Nothing wrong with that, so long as he does a good job, right? Well, but then again that Malay PM may well turn out to be a secret Christian! And while we're at it, we'd better check to make sure all our potential PMs were really born in Malaysia (where's The Donald when you need him?)...

Seriously, what shit.

Obama would agree.

4. Uh, WHY Would Making Christianity the 'Official' Religion Help Christians?

Well, why? Unless they also amend the Constitution to state that practising other religions is illegal, then making Christianity the religion of the country (which won't happen) pretty much does nothing to advance the Christian agenda, if there is one.

Consider what would happen; the 'Christian Movement' would then be facing the prospect of governing a country with at least 70% of its population pissed off at it. If the others join in, then probably only 10% of the population will even support the 'Christian Government'. With those numbers (and I don't know how they'd get into power to begin with) who wants to govern the country? Just ask Hosni Mubarak or Gaddafi how lousy it is to try and control a country where most of the people are against you.

"Seriously, not worth it."

"What? But my people love me!"

If their intent is to spread Christianity, then wow, taking over the country and attempting to force/mass-baptise them is definitely the best way to go. And then watch as your measly 10% mostly parang-wielding sampan-riding warriors (and the fraction of urbanites) go at it with your 90% strong non-Christians, bearing in mind that the Malays dominate the Army and the Civil Service, AND the Police Force - man is life going to be hell for people when you try and mass-convert the Army. No, this 'Christian Movement', if there is one at all, is not nearly that stupid.

And that's all for Common Sense 101 for today.

BN retains Sarawak, two-thirds majority: Pakatan makes inroads

2011-04-16T23:42:00.000+08:00

http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/bn-keeps-two-thirds-majority-could-win-up-to-51-seats/

So it's official: BN has won Sarawak, and even maintained its two-thirds majority. And while people like myself are feeling very disappointed that even the burden that is Taib/Pek Moh wasn't able to cut BN down to a simple majority, the Opposition has valid reason to feel that it has scored a moral victory.

Only the official results will let us know for sure just how much the Opposition should have won by. Remember, every seat that they would've won by a small margin was probably given the postal-vote, phantom-vote treatment. Also, the multi-cornered fights in some of the constituencies may have cost the Opposition precious votes too. And in this fight, every vote counted. Given their dismal showings in past Sarawak elections, they needed everything to multiply their seats and beat back BN.

The popular vote is an interesting thing we need to account for. Because of the way the demographics are spread out amongst the different constituencies, it's a fair (in fact, almost guaranteed) bet that the shift in number of seats doesn't accurately reflect the shift in popular vote. BN won 62/71 seats in the previous election. This time, it's 55. That means they lost 7 more seats from last time - that's around a 10% swing in terms of number of seats. But look at the popular vote and I'm willing to bet the swing was more around 25%. Maybe even 30%.

Sarawak is without a doubt the most difficult terrain for which the Opposition must do battle. The sheer expansiveness of the state, the virtually non-existent transportation system within the more rural areas, the tiny reach of urbanisation, the entrenched system of money politics and the mindsets of the people all block the way of PR. Yet despite all that, it is no longer the BN's fixed deposit, as tonight has shown. From 7 more seats in the legislature, PR may get many more in Parliament and, with the time from now till the next GE, Pakatan has much time to build the roads needed to access the only people who can truly effect any sort of change at the federal level: the people of Sarawak.

2011-04-06T21:16:00.000+08:00

1. Sarawak elections are here. Let's hope for a decisive swing, at least.

2. Singapore politics is a little more interesting than I thought. The size of the population and state, the quirks of the electoral system and the power of incumbency make for a much more interesting dynamic in terms of this democracy.

3. Another man dies falling out a window from a MACC building. Is there a pattern?

4. X-Men: First Class is showing later this year. And Pirates 4. Also, Thor. Nice line-up. (Oh yes, and HP7 Part II)

5. In another life, consider studying in Finland.

6. Will DU survive the rest of the year? Hoping things go well for you guys.

7. Will the Scouts win marching again this year? Where have all the burnt Backwoods food and shaky gadgets gone...

There's no time and I should be working. (As usual).

To That End We're Heading To

2011-04-03T11:25:00.000+08:00

1. The Malaysian political scene has possibly jumped the shark - there's a shameless trio of morons, one of them a former Chief Minister, showing pornography in the halls of Parliament. There's a needless debate over Interlok, when the conclusion should just be: change the book or leave it as is. It's literature. And of course not forgetting the recurring problems for the Christians, what with that whole Alkitab rubbish. What's the country coming to when these things are the front and centre of our news every day?

2. But credit where it's due - it's surprising to hear that the Penang PR-led government will work with BN for a 'Greater Penang' (http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/guan-eng-shelves-plans-will-aid-najibs-greater-penang/), even more so considering Point 1. But it's a first and something optimistic for once.

3. There is no perfect system. Studying in Singapore shows you that there's a high tide everywhere and that absolute fairness is a myth. But if you survive here you can survive anything (but maybe not China...?). Work is insane and exams are hard when they shouldn't be, so naturally I'm dying a little here. But oh well.

4. And so everything that's happening now is something heading towards an end - the rubbish politics is only the prelude to the upcoming state elections, and maybe a general election later in the year. Who'll sit in that seat? It's judgement time but not by a higher power (is there one?) - it's everyone, heading to that end and making it what it'll be. The ignorant, hard-working folks in the depths of Sabah and Sarawak, the youth activist groups on the West side. Normal people, stupid people, intelligent, selfish people. It's not a perfect decision that will be made but it never is.

5. Hence things are ending for us little people too. Friends back home doing A-levels will be done by the middle of the year while my buddies doing STPM shall suffer with me all the way till December or so. Then, people leaving and people staying back, and then who knows la.

6. Just for the sake of a short point, because that's what bullets are for.

7. Another short point, to make 6. look less tacked-on.

8. For fun.

Stupidity Spreads Faster than Radiation

2011-03-16T17:53:00.000+08:00

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-12745128

"The SMS message, purporting to come from the BBC, has been circulating around Asian countries since Monday.

It warns people to take necessary precautions against possible effects of radiation.

The BBC has issued no such flash but the hoax has caused particular panic in the Philippines.

Some media reports suggest that workers and school children there were sent home after the rumours began to spread, prompting the Philippines government to issue an official denial."

So you can all stop worrying now, and stop wasting money and people's time by spamming them with messages concerning unverified threats. Seriously it used to be stupid chain emails but now even SMSes...what is the world coming to when people believe every single piece of crap that comes to their phone?

And by the way, how on earth does radiation = acid rain? I didn't know plutonium could break down into sulphur dioxide...

This is Our So-Called 'First Lady'

2011-03-15T20:38:00.000+08:00

Yeah, this is what Rosmah says to a disaster in Japan. I mean I don't like Najib but he's not stupid enough to say things like this in the current situation. I think the only reason she put in that bullshit about eco-friendly green tech or whatever nonsense is because she was at a green event (see the people around her?).

But really, this is just a case of her mouthing off in her typical bid to sound 'presidential' and 'first lady-like' a la Michelle Obama - of course, she is failing miserably.

Our previous PMs, like them or not, at the very least had pretty sensible wives who were smart and certainly didn't try too hard. Now we get this potato. Oh no...

Inception

2011-03-13T18:49:00.001+08:00

Inception is to film what a great Pokemon card is to a collector; it's rare, it's kickass and it does so much more than just look good.

And does it ever look good. If nothing else it demonstrates a mastery of visual conception and parallel narration. It's also worth noting that many visual effects in the film were not CGI - unlike Transformers or Avatar, that little shortcut isn't something Nolan uses as his first choice. That hallway fight scene? Rotating cylindrical hallway. The explosion at the cafe? High-speed cameras and air cannons with just a touch of CGI. The folding city? Well, some things even Nolan's crew can't do.

The narrative is perfectly paced, with the right amount of action and humour appropriately leading up to the climax, which we must note is close to half an hour long. Not to mention how seamlessly he weaves three (three!) side-by-side narratives together, not just for the pacing but also for the interconnectivity. Cause and effect is key and Nolan applies it here; a tumble, to a fall, to chaos. If only for these things, Inception fully deserves its Best Picture nomination, even if it doesn't quite earn a win yet.

Here it must be said that The Dark Knight was the better film. While Inception trumped the Batman sequel's narrative structure and visual effects, TDK was the movie with the better balance; it had the effects, it had the story, but it also had significantly deeper characters, a more moving emotional arc spanning the story and two Oscar-worthy performances. Watching both films, it quickly becomes apparent that Inception lacks the characters that carry The Dark Knight so well; save for Leo DiCap's character, they do not develop and play roles not exceeding that of exposition and necessity for the plot.

The actors still give brilliant performances with what they have. Joseph-Gordon Levitt's charm finds its way into the 'stick-in-the-mud' Arthur, who constantly takes jabs from Tom Hardy's impressive Eames. Marion Cotillard plays a soulless character, appropriately frightening and on edge, while Ellen Page, Cillian Murphy and Ken Watanabe give what is needed of them and no more. But The Dark Knight - well, you have Heath Ledger's unmatched portrayal of the Joker and Aaron Eckhart's (in my opinion) almost equally impressive (and tragic) character of Harvey Dent. Add that to Morgan Freeman and Gary Oldman, who were given (and benefited from) much more substantial characters, and you get a set of performances that completely outmatches those in Inception.

However, though TDK will forever be the one that should have been nominated (and won) the Oscar, Inception will likely be the lasting magnum opus for which Nolan will be remembered (though here's to hoping that The Dark Knight Rises breaks that) - for the simple truth that you cannot watch Inception without thinking about it afterwards, unlike The Dark Knight. And, as the multitude of critics have said, that is the real Inception here - not the corporate machinations occurring in the film but the seed it leaves in our minds. Who didn't exit the cinema scratching their head? Inception is a film where you could make money off explaining to other people.

But more important than that is the final shot, in which the film's true message lies; not the top that keeps spinning (or falls) but the man who walks away from it. Dom Cobb doesn't care for it anymore; he walks away from it; he chooses his kids. He chooses his reality. If the relativity of reality is the idea Nolan plants in us, then that final scene is the proverbial gunshot to the head - the 'kick' - that shakes us up and says that the choice is still ours in the end. In other words: yeah, reality's subjective but in the end, you decide.

Was that the idea all along...?

Blood Diamond

2011-03-10T12:54:00.001+08:00

Early this morning, I watched ‘Blood Diamond’. It’s only my second time watching. The first, I thought it was a good show. Now, it’s one of the greatest films I’ve ever seen. How do you capture that conflict, that life we see in the story…there’s blood and it stains, and we’re content to let it stay and seep.

Mr DiCaprio and Mr Hounsou give fine performances. It says much that we do not see characters on the screen – characters are walking and talking plot devices, providing exposition and driving the story. But these weren’t characters. These were people. They are the story. And we aren’t watching them, we’re rooting for them.

The diamonds aren’t diamonds. The diamonds are human greed, calcified. And of course, there’s blood on them. In the film they mentioned the red earth, coloured by the blood of the people fighting for it. No more red earth. Red stone. The country is not the country, but the diamonds are. Do we feed this trade? Every woman who wants one on her ring, every man who buys her one…does the cash leave our hands and reach those far-flung people as bullets? We’re told so.

The film is not great because it shines the light that reveals to us the stains. It’s great because now those stains matter. Can you look at a diamond the same way? Or oil. Or gold. They come from conflict, death – nowadays, they come from other things too.

I’m writing this at 2 in the morning. It will only be published after I wake from my sleep, so hard it is to come by at this time, these days. I can’t sleep because of jet lag. Somewhere else, people can’t sleep because sleeping is dying. Closing your eyes and letting go is just as well as asking for it to be permanent. There’s violence in Libya. Their people thought they started a revolution. But they started a civil war. Is it any different from Sierra Leone back then? Bad government, worse rebels. You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. Fair enough?

‘Blood Diamond’ moved me. I mean I pushed back on my chair after the film was over. Ha. Ha. But more than moving me it made me think. The worlds apart. I saw violence, shooting, blood, explosions – they fought, for that rough clear stone, pinkish in colour. Cut to a later scene, and you see the shiny stones nicely on display, the men in their suits and the people unknowing. The people unknowing…is that it? Have I learned that ignorance was the problem? That writing about it could solve it? But news becomes just that, news. Rapes, murders, suicides, statistics. Once in a while a tsunami comes to shake us up. Then it goes. Have I learned instead that people are people? There was once where they say that. People are people. It’s what they do, their actions, that is good or bad. Yet what action is bad here – the death, or the demand?

Films play so many roles. There’s the cheap popcorn flick, the filler we use to substitute sleep with. There are diamond movies, designed to appeal to our senses. Then there are blood movies, that makes us think. What makes a good film…

‘Blood Diamond’ will be one of my favourite films of all time. It forgoes the popcorn but still takes my sleep. It never sparkles but finds my senses nonetheless. And it makes me bleed, but thoughts and not blood. Red stone? No. Red earth…

Haikus with Han: Tailor Swift

2011-02-13T20:51:00.002+08:00

"Hey Han, you know this, uh, fast tailor ah?"

"??"

"Neh, that one la, the one we always hear on the radio!"

"?????"

"Neh, that one who got interrupted by Kanye West or something."

"!!"

"You mean, Taylor Swift is it?"

"Ah yes yes! Tailor Swift!"

"Anyway, I wanted to know...why this guy so popular? Does he like, make designer clothes really fast or something? Does he work for celebrities?"

"Oh, actually...yes la Nick. You know sh - he, made this shirt for me?"

"No kidding."

"Serious!"

"And my underwear too."

"..."

"So."

"He's big, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Really big."

"There's a concert, like, in February. Singapore."

"Concert? How does a tailor give a concert?"

"It's freaking cool. He has this like super-sewing machine, with 10 pedals, 3 levers and a keyboard. He just moves all around and clothes like magically appear."

"Then he throws it into the crowd."

"Entertainment just ain't the same, huh..."

"Well, yeah, anyway, I'm going."

"The concert?"

"Yeah. Singapore."

"OK loh...I assume you're bringing Steph?"

"Yeah loh, no choice what...she wanted something nice."

"Oh, and Wei Hau too."

"!?"

"Why you bringing an awkward lamp post there la man. Every time you do stuff he'll have to look away..."

"Eh what? He needs some new hats, and a hoodie."

"Lol."

"Did You Just Say 'Lol'??"

"As in, 'lol', a word, not actually laughing out loud?"

"Well...yeah."

"Oh...lol."

Haaave you met Utkarsh?

2011-02-11T20:26:00.000+08:00

He looks shocked at the idea.

Other things aside, this is Utkarsh-yeah-I'll-repeat-my-name-again-you-hard-of-hearing-foreigners, another Indian and my former roommate. We had a falling out a few months back when I refused to Skype with him - in my defence, we were in the same room.

Now, estranged as we are, I can of course tell you all his dirty secrets, hehehe...

A good boy, Utkarsh takes it upon himself to do at least an hour of math and physics every night, even Football nights - a fervent supporter of Manchester...City? (hah!), Utkarsh spends most of his time building his dream team and pretending to spend millions just to do it.

While he is extremely, extremely studious, Utkarsh finds no pleasure in doing exams the regular way. Instead, for his Promo exams, he intentionally walked in late for a few papers, slept during the others and wrote down the right answers in the wrong papers (that's right, he answered a 10-mark Math question on a Physics paper - which was 3 days later). Having aced all his previous assessments, the college assumed he was a faker trying to flunk his way out of his second year, so they burned their warning letters kicked the system and threw him into JC2 anyway.

Clearly, he likes his fun. Tricking a college into promoting you one level without actually scoring (despite being able to) is something even Chuck Norris finds slightly difficult. When he's not plotting his next exam plan, he's playing his electric guitar out on the school field (full kit and all). What, no electricity? He hooked a generator up 5 km away and plugs his hardware into the ground to access the current, deliberately paying homage to the awesome mad Nikola Tesla.

Another tech wizard, he'll likely have me wake up tomorrow to find my blog flooded with my secrets and the number 42 pasted everywhere, no trace of this post in sight. But I think I have a few hours...hurry hurry.

Parenting

2011-02-10T20:24:00.001+08:00

And so we finally begin the discussion, after a couple of weeks off and Chinese New Year. I have been negligent here.

Anyway...

Simply put, to me, there are two sides to the arguments. The first camp gives Amy Chua the thumbs down for her perfectionist, aggressive approach to parenting (and other fingers too, besides...) while the other camp cheers and applauds her determination in realising her children's potential.

That is where the question comes in, and it's here that we have to define what it is exactly that Amy Chua is doing. Is she projecting her own personal desires and goals onto her children? Does she see them as a reflection of her own achievements and social standing? Or does she simply run them quickly off a cliff, knowing they can fly? Because between the warring 'children-should-be-heard-too' and 'parents-know-best-absolutely' lies simply the differences between the priorities and approaches of parenting.

Amy Chua works her children like we work characters on MMORPGs; relentlessly, unforgivably and with a great deal of shouting when the levelling-up doesn't occur. And for that people deride her, because of course her young, tender-aged children should not have had to endure such psychological and emotional stress from their own mother. Parents are the safety nets of children, letting them land from failures with as little pain as possible. So goes the 'Western way'. Protect the children. Guard their feelings. Self-esteem is everything.

(Be aware I'm using terms like Western and Chinese very loosely. Of course, not everybody in either group adheres to the supposed 'ways' I'm talking about, and neither are these styles so utterly distinct and black-and-white, but for the purposes of the arguments making their way round everywhere, I'll just stick with it)

The 'Chinese way' is different. The force driving this method is competition. In a world where everyone works their asses off, parents can't afford to raise a self-confident kid who fails to get into university. The kids may hate them for it, and many times they don't, but the parents know it's worth it if their child gets a good stable job and a better life in the future. This means long hours daily, it means studying longer than adults work daily in most countries, and it means no letting up. Life is a long, long marathon, and everybody sprints all the way.

Which way is right? Understanding the different cultural backgrounds of both parenting styles is important. Consider China; students study all their lives just to get into the local universities, if their parents don't have the cash to send their kids off to other places where they can take it a bit easier. With over a billion people fighting for the best positions in life, you can see how the need for real hard work becomes a necessity. Sometimes it's the parent that has to start the push.

In the US, the story is a little different. A's aren't all that matter, and a perfect SAT score won't always get you into the Ivies. What you do in your spare time is as much as factor as the examinations are; everything from your interest in sports, your ability to speak publicly and your interests beyond academic boundaries will and can help you. Here we can see; the differences between the education systems of the two sides are what give rise to different priorities and hence different approaches.

This alone almost ends the fight. There's no right or wrong, only different! But it's not enough. The two cultures have clashed and overlapped, and now there are mad-studying Chinese students plugging up spots in Western universities, just as there are Western kids studying in China (though probably a lot less). And in many respects, the Chinese kids are doing a lot better - their stereotype as math pros doesn't exist for nothing. And it is presumably on this basis that Amy Chua declares the superiority of the method she subscribes to.

What do I think? None of them are right. There's no absolute right or wrong, for one thing, only how right or how wrong...I subscribe to neither but maybe half of both.

Referencing the article I linked to at the end of my last post: "Amy Chua is a Wimp". The author of the article presents an interesting argument; that by doing what she does, i.e. limit her children's social life and involvement outside of studies and the household, she is really harming them and also sparing them hardships, in contrast to her stated stand of putting them through the tough stuff. And I think it may be true. What happens when your kid doesn't work with others? By not spending time with other children, they may not learn how to argue, how to compromise, how to be friendly...and the list goes on. The lessons that we gain from social interactions are not things found on blackboards or stacks of books or in violins and pianos. These are invaluable skills, and here I quote from the article:

"Practicing a piece of music for four hours requires focused attention, but it is nowhere near as cognitively demanding as a sleepover with 14-year-old girls. Managing status rivalries, negotiating group dynamics, understanding social norms, navigating the distinction between self and group — these and other social tests impose cognitive demands that blow away any intense tutoring session or a class at Yale."

The article is a very well-written and interesting one, and I recommend you read it. Rather than regurgitate and repeat what it's said, it's best if people read it themselves.

I will say, however, that I believe the best way is the moderate way. Push your children, don't give them a reason to slack off when you know they're capable of much. Let them know you think that way. Think of their feelings and opinions, but don't coddle them. Excessive drilling and sheer 'brute force' tactics with regards to studies will only get you so far. Support them and listen to what they're interested in doing, but do not let them off the leash and do things on a whim. Children are not Pokemon meant to be pitted endlessly against wild types, and if they faint it's not nearly as inconsequential.

I said the Middle Way was the best way (of course it's not strictly speaking the same Middle Way of Buddhism - what I mean is moderation). And though quoting religion isn't really my thing, I find it appropriate in this case - besides, I always considered Buddhist teachings to be more philosophical than the grand pronouncements of a holy man.

Is Amy Chua a Monster, or Does She Just Believe In Her Kids?

2011-01-22T15:25:00.001+08:00

Read an excerpt from Chua's book, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" and judge for yourself.

"A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:

• attend a sleepover

• have a playdate

• be in a school play

• complain about not being in a school play

• watch TV or play computer games

• choose their own extracurricular activities

• get any grade less than an A

• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama

• play any instrument other than the piano or violin

• not play the piano or violin."

So starts the excerpt at the link I have posted up there. Reading it, you get a rough sense of what Amy Chua - a woman who is now at the centre of a fierce debate over parenting - is like. Could you say she's narrowly obsessed with piano and violins? That she disregards the potential benefits of gym and drama? But those are the small things. At the heart of the matter is her style of parenting, and whether or not it's truly the best way in the end.

I felt quite strongly about this when I first read it, and I'm inclined to blast Amy Chua and swear at her uncontrollably for the harsh (there's no denying that) way that she has treated her children. However, realising that it's best not to blog in a rush (that and I have to seriously study vectors - blasted maths) I'm just going to put this up here and let everyone else read it first. So I'll write about it - but later.

But essentially the problem that presents itself here is: Is she a horrible, mean parent who is excessively demanding and insensitive of her children's feelings, or is she just someone who believes that her children are capable of so much that she has to push them to it?

I'll not go into my answer deeply now, but I think that the Western and Chinese parents, to put it loosely, have got it wrong; I think the Buddha hit the nail on the head when he said the Middle Way is the best way. It wasn't pure overindulgence or strict asceticism that brought him to enlightenment, but the path of moderation and control.

UPDATE: "Amy Chua is a Wimp" - NY Times
While I'm not calling her a wimp, the article presents an interesting different take on what Chua has written about, saying that perhaps she is the one holding her kids back from the real challenges.

2011-01-15T22:34:00.001+08:00

In maybe a few months my country will go to the elections. Maybe March, maybe later in the year. It is not, as a minister once put it, an exercise in sexual arousal once every five years but rather my country's attempt at democracy - whether it is indeed the best system is another day's debate and another day's concern; Malaysia is trying for it, has been trying so hard, will be trying its hardest.

Maybe they'll go and vote again, the rural folk and the Sabahans and the Sarawakians, and maybe they'll choose Barisan Nasional again. Maybe the opposition loses again, and so the cycle continues - of vicious plunder and corruption like the rust on metal~~, except that rust merely sacrifices the outside to protect what's within.~~ (edit: mistake, sorry. Chem fail)

Sometimes we invent sanity. Actually, sometimes we invent insanity. Who's to say the crazy do not just see differently? The colour-blind man who calls a blue bell black is not insane.

So my people are not insane. They vote for Barisan, but they do not vote for Barisan. They vote for stability and the promise of better times and easier lives. They choose to remain on the barren island to live another day, rather than brave the piranhaic (alright I made that up) waters to get to the McDonalds at the other side. Is that so bad?

Even if by reaching that shadowy fast food outlet could the brave somehow get food for the others on the island, well, it's no guarantee. Better sometimes to stay with the scraps you have, even as you hope for something nicer.

But credit to Barisan Nasional too. What do you do to keep desperate men in your pocket? You give them hope. People are by nature an optimistic lot. No, global warming's a myth! No, I'm not fat, I've just got big bones! No, I'm not dying, I'm just coughing red saliva! In a similar vein, the man at the end of his rope - a man who will fight tooth and nail, desperately, to survive - will sit and stay at just the possibility of safety.

We are perfectionists, too. We have to make sure of something, just in case. You changed your answer to B - but then you revert back to A, because you don't want to have changed what would be the right answer. Just in case. When I am threatening you with a knife and you are sure you will die, you'll kick, scream and scratch at me to get free. But if I tell you that by sitting quiet, then maybe, just maybe, you'll survive, then you'll shut up and sit.

Even as Utusan ~~(that bloody shit-rag of a paper)~~ puts out its tripe and bigots continue to hold the public hostage, we approach that turning tide of a generation that will, slowly but surely, tire of racist rhetoric and trash talk. Or perhaps they will - like the people we must blame for our government, the people - grow up with no second thought to the things their parents say and they later repeat. Carelessly casually tossing stereotypes around and not caring for politics at all, maybe they'll not want to get to that McDonalds waiting on the other side.

Well, the McDonalds may not be the best option in the world but it's certainly better than baked sand and fried weed.

I've always wanted to be among the voters that will vote Barisan out, but now I've decided that when I vote for the first time, I want to vote for the government - within the next few months the sane, insane will have a chance to make that happen so I hope they will.

Haaave you met Agrim?

2011-01-08T11:50:00.001+08:00

Well, have you? They say out of the over-1 billion or so Indians in the world, the ones you are most likely to bump into are Manmohan Singh and his half-uncle's great-grandnephew's sister's third cousin, Agrim. The difference between Agrim and the other people you might not have met is that making up stuff about him is really, really difficult - because he really has done everything you're likely to come up with.

A dedicated MUN participant, Agrim has parleyed his 10-event experience into drafting college rules, buying Kim Jong-il memorabilia from the DPRK and re-writing President Obama's Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act in his spare time. In his pockets are his trusted UN Charter, no money and a stainless steel comb (the shiny metal doubles as a mirror).

A workaholic, there are always two things in Agrim's hands: a mouse and a bottle of Red Bull. And before you accuse him of deliberately intoxicating a poor, helpless rodent, his mouse just so happens to have a metal shell, a roller and a bluetooth functionality of up to 20 metres. Of course, he designed it himself.

Having won just about all there is to win in the field of robotics, programming, debate, quantum physics and theoretical mathematics, Agrim has since devoted his time to mundane school work, because "we all need a little boring now and then, so we'll have more fun later" - wise words, coming from a teacher's ~~pet~~ son. Suiting up is his main hobby but just about everything else is his passion.

But beneath the lightning-fast CPU, 2GB RAM and a few Terabytes of storage lies a boy programmed to do good. He calls his mother "the greatest programmer in the world" because for all his technical wizardry, he "cannot programme people like she does".

2011-01-01T22:56:00.000+08:00

You're waiting for a train.

A train that will take you far away.

You know where you hope this train will take you,

but you can't know for sure.

But it doesn't matter...

A Happy New Year to all.

Haaave you met Teng?

2010-12-29T16:07:00.000+08:00

Brilliant student by day, and...also a brilliant student by night, Goh Ee Teng has been described as a cross between a Vietnamese maths genius, an Indonesian smooth-talker and an insanely clever Singaporean.

In reality an Indian with Chinese blood, however, Ee Teng has long been familiar with 'Scary Indian Man' slurs back in his hometown of Penang. The slurs were what pushed him to prove himself:

"I wanted to show them Scary Indian Men were scary because they were just bloody smart," he says.

Forged in the hellfires of ~~Mordor~~ Chung Ling High School, Ee Teng became the institution's local superstar, with a basket of basketball MVP titles and Valedictorian awards. With his cupboard full of glowing recommendations and reviews, Ee Teng stepped into Singapore with the confidence of Tiger Woods going into a mini golf game.

There, he has dominated ever since. Known as one of only two Malaysians to have challenged the Vietnamese juggernaut in the Science and Maths realm, Ee Teng garnered fame after his notorious upset victory at the Inter-Collegiate Multi-Sciences Olympiad (1st Division). He has since gone on to dominate the school's unique photographer-guitarist niche, having held 3 photographic exhibitions of his prolific guitar compositions.

With a penchant for dragon motifs, people have dubbed him 'The Dragon' - both for his on-field and off-field abilities. In addition to his many achievements, he also recently published a book of (adult) poetry titled 'Enter the Dragon'.

An achiever. A friend. A dragon. That's Ee Teng for you.

Haaave you met Anzari?

2010-12-28T16:04:00.000+08:00

Clean student by day and sneaky boarder by night, Syarifudin Anzari Santoso reads his Quran in school and watches American Pie after; a lucky child born in Malang, Indonesia, Anzari (or Din-Din, as his parents know him) grew up with a healthy mix of Islamic reality TV and liberal Cartoon Network productions.

With that upbringing came Anzari's machine-like, perfectionist ability for hygiene maintenance. Soon after beginning school, Anzari swept award after award, often throwing some away for their less-than-clean polishing.

This isn't to say Anzari lacks a softer side - in his spare time between toothbrushing his floor and praying 6 (yes) times a day, Anzari can be heard singing along to the likes of Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey in front of his computer.

The only Indonesian to win 4 national Islamic titles and a Korean Drama Aficionado award, Anzari is also a published writer - his novels 'Ya Allah!' and 'Pembongkang Mitos' have all climbed to the top of the Indonesian bestseller lists.

Currently a student at ACJC, Anzari devotes most of his school time to answering questions in Biology lectures and sleeping in Chemistry ones. Bright and cheerful (with, as a teacher described, 'a dazzling smile'), Anzari remains the top pick of many teachers for the monthly IndoHebat award. After school, he is usually seen poring over paperwork at the Science and Maths Council (SMC) room.

A roommate. A holy man. A star. That's Anzari.

Han Xern meets Justin Jarret; Doomsday Narrowly Averted

2010-12-10T14:00:00.002+08:00

Wednesday, 8th Dec - In an event that nearly ended the world as known to Man, Khoo Han Xern met Justin Jarret at a Portuguese-Indian dim sum restaurant last Wednesday.

Justin Jarret, one of Malaysia's top bloggers, met Han Xern, one of Malaysia's top minds, in a chance meeting at the dim sum shop during its busy lunch hour. Both were surprised to run into each other.

The restaurant subsequently exploded.

The incident was also the source of the EMP wave that wiped out all electronic activity for the duration of the afternoon in Selangor.

Reacting quickly, both Mr. Jarret and Mr. Khoo managed to move all bystanders safely out of the restaurant before it collapsed entirely. Using his laptop, Mr. Jarret blogged (breaking his previous record of 10.2 seconds) about the incident and urged all his fans to hurry and aid the people at the shop. Meanwhile, Mr. Khoo improvised temporary structural rigs to hold the collapsing restaurant in place using bamboo chopsticks, fridges and Mr. Jarret's laptop.

There were no casualties, and the 20 people who sustained injuries were promptly sent to the nearby Portuguese-Indian hospital.

What Happened?

A meeting between two of Malaysia's most eminent personalities was theorised as one of the possible threats to human civilisation, alongside global pandemics, natural megadisasters and Dragonball: Evolution (the latter having proven to be only terrible cinema). Not since the simultaneous existence of Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris has there been fears of an AF (Awesome Factor) Implosion (Lee has since passed away).

Both Mr. Khoo and Mr. Jarret have been unaware of the possible consequences of their close proximity; when later questioned by police (one in Petaling Jaya and the other in Shah Alam), both stated that they had 'no idea' that their chance meeting would result in such an accident.

Ever since the incident, the scientific community has been abuzz over the the accident - or as many have called it, the near-disaster. News sites have been flooded by articles including opinions from many renowned scientists (including Stephen Hawking) weighing in on the incident.

Why Didn't The World End?

While Mr. Jarret and Mr. Khoo's chance meeting did result in an unfortunate accident, it did stop far short of the existential disaster many thought it would be.

"The question on everyone's minds now, is, why didn't it happen?" said Larry King on his CNN talk show.

Many scientists have speculated that the lack of physical contact between Han Xern and Justin was the reason that the calamity did not occur.

"Had they been shaking hands - hell, had they even done a pinky swear, the effects of the AFI would have been significantly greater," opined Bill Nye, Disney's scientific consultant.

Either way, it seems, disaster has been averted for now.

The SPM Conspiracy

2010-11-30T02:49:00.001+08:00

The words in the picture speak for itself.

Hello, Form 5 students of 2010,

A year ago I was like you - cramming massive amounts of information into my head (figuratively of course) and frantically trying to read that BM novel for the first time - was it Panas Salju, or Konserto Terakhir?

Well.

Except, of course, that that wasn't true. Except for the fact that I hadn't finished either Malay novel of course, beyond a 10-minute flip-through a few months prior.

The takeaway is not to worry about SPM. I know, I know - I'm a little late, SPM's almost over and boy! - you really could've used this little info earlier. But then, there's no harm in you having worked hard up till now. If anything, it'll only help you, especially if you're ambitiously and/or foolishly planning to do your A-Levels (or, touch wood, IB) in Singapore.

The SPM Conspiracy is nothing more than what you'd call moderation. Do you really think I got over 90% for my Sejarah paper? Hell no. And given that I'd never touched 90% ever for English BM Physics Chemistry and Add Maths in Forms 4 and 5, do you really think that I magically got over 90% for all those subjects in SPM too? (I have of course gotten over 90 for Mod Maths before - it is a joke after all (and if you think Mod Maths is harder than Add Maths, then you my friend have screw loose somewhere) and don't get me started on Moral)

Obviously, a metaphorical representation of our current
political scenario - i.e., it doesn't make sense.

Basically, what (I guess) good ol' MOE does it to take everybody's results (it should be a bell curve) and then set the cut-off points for the grades accordingly. They do this, I imagine, so that they can control how many people fail/pass the subjects, which is obviously important to the government; if we were all failing, then there would be no more BN (oh no I just thought of a really interesting idea...).

So maybe it's true that you only need 8 marks to pass SPM Add Maths. All I know is, there is no way that the cut-off point for the A+ grade was 90% for every paper. And hence the rest of the grades follow. If you've never gotten an A in your life - don't fret, this may be your first.

But let's also be real here. SPM is harder, definitely, than PMR. PMR is like ice cream. SPM is like omelette and coffee. And if that doesn't make sense to you, then you obviously haven't gone for a Biro TataNegara course yet.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is, enjoy this time while you have it - you never know when some country might offer you a scholarship and whisk you away before you really start your holidays to study amongst many insane geniuses from Vietnam. After SPM, go to a mamak shop with your friends and eat all the roti you want. Clog McDonalds in the early hours of the morning. Camp over at someone's house and watch Paranormal Activity together. The point is, you are young. There is hell waiting for you after the merry-go-round that is SPM. After SPM you have the big roller coasters, the ones that really take you where you want to go, if you don't die along the way.

When we were young...

I survived on this piece of logic throughout secondary school. Why work so hard? As long as you're above the average for everything, the Conspiracy will do the rest. No need to be at the top, just the upper half will do. It worked for me. My shaky BM marks, always hovering between an A and a B, became solid As during all my public exams.

So as far as SPM is concerned, don't worry too much. Unless you're going for the trap (well depending on how you look at it) that we call the JPA scholarship, there's really no need to pull in straight A+s. By all means, go for it. But don't die trying.

Post-SPM, however, is a completely different ball game. This is where the Conspiracy leaves off and Reality swoops in to kick your ass and tell you to buck up. And the room for messing up is almost non-existent. Anything less than straight As for your A-Levels will mean almost certain rejection from the top universities, if that's what you're gunning for.

What am I trying to say here? I have to admit I'm confused - 11 years of Malaysian education will do that to you. But besides inundating you with too many Malay poems/ traditional prose/novels/plays and Moral 'values', it does also give you that room for fun and innovation; what you choose to do with it is up to you.

This guy needs a woman, seriously.

I chose to use that flexibility to skip Malay classes to 'run errands' (we did that a lot) and work on old Windows '95 computers stuffed with viruses. I chose to use that time to move around class and play games with my good buddies. In fact I filled many useless, redundant and boringly unnecessary classes with new things - breaking the normal routine for school, something you'll probably appreciate by now. I helped teachers and made connections, I managed to get some inside information on small things, I bonded with friends - for a good chit-chat, nothing beats sorting out and keying in exam results, or cleaning and arranging store rooms, or fixing outdated printers.

So maybe I'm trying to say, don't worry about SPM. Or maybe I'm telling you to have fun now in case you ever decide to go to Singapore? Still confused. Most likely, I'm just attempting to show you how things were fun for me - and still can be - if you put in the effort. 10 years from now, you're not going to care about the times you stayed in BM class like a good boy only to learn nothing and get that A. You're going to remember taking half an hour to hand up your class' homework to the teacher in the staffroom, and then going to the toilet before (whoops) picking up another errand on the way back to class.

Just a clarification - please don't skip BM class. I have to tell you this because I cannot obviously condone skipping classes of any sort, however, as young adults (the administration's favourite phrase) you're trusted to make your own decisions. And that, is the Malaysian system).

I've Tried To Talk About Facebook...

2010-11-23T11:45:00.002+08:00

...but this site does it perfectly.

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/facebook_suck

Zaid, What Are You Doing?

2010-11-19T16:43:00.001+08:00

Maybe some of you, like me, are confused about Zaid Ibrahim these days. What's happened to him?

Previously I saw him as a man of consistency and strong opinions. He dares to talk. He openly opposed the ISA while still in UMNO and was open about the roadblocks he ran into as the de facto law minister during his Cabinet stint. He couldn't create the reforms he wanted, so he left.

Now, in PKR, he's demanding Anwar and Azmin step down and he's going to quit PKR, because he cannot create the reforms he wants. Sounds the same, but what then makes the difference?

The difference is that he contested a party post in PKR, and now he's quitting. I don't know about you, but the whole scenario playing out these past number of weeks has made Zaid look like a sore loser and an arrogant man. He offered himself up for the deputy president post despite stating earlier that he wouldn't contest. This I could let slide - people change their opinions and it's a good thing to offer voters a choice. Though flip-flops are never good for politicians, this is just one incident, and it's not too bad.

Then it began

Then when campaigning started, he began attacking Azmin. Now maybe it's just me, but reading all the things he was saying during the campaign period, he really starting blowing his own trumpet a lot - beyond just presenting his opinion that he was a better candidate, he was running down Azmin Ali as well. It sounded like a very different Zaid to me, to be putting down his fellow party colleague, when they are both fighting Barisan Nasional.

A clean fight is where you say, "Hey, I think I'm the better candidate, because I can do so and so for you, but I'll let you decide". You don't say, "I'm a better candidate because I can do this, which the other rubbish candidate can't do, so pick me because it's obviously the one and only choice." Where's the humility, Zaid?

The campaign

Then Zaid talked about how PKR elections were rigged. But it wasn't just him - and fair enough, I think PKR elections are a sham and that they're much like UMNO in this respect. I've never respected PKR as a mature, cohesive party, only an UMNO-like one - but between two evils I'd pick the lesser one.

The problem is that Zaid started throwing all these fits when Azmin was leading the race, which just makes him look like sour grapes. I believe Raja Petra wrote about this - if he knew the race would be unfair, he should have made his complaints right from the start and boycott the elections. When you don't like the rules of a game you say so and back out. You don't enter the game knowing it's bad and then halfway through start grousing when things don't go your way. Either you call out the other side to be fair and take no part in the game, or you say 'to hell with it' and play and win in spite of the cheating.

That's what Pakatan did. When you decide to contest the elections you accept the rules. They knew it would be dirty. But they decided fighting and doing their best was better than boycotting and letting BN take all the seats - and certainly much better than complaining midway through and after the elections.

The exit

And now he says he's quitting PKR. Huh? He joined PKR in the middle of 2009. In over a year, he's already given up on it. While my personal opinion is also that PKR is much too Anwar-centric and feudal in mentality, I think he's giving up too quickly - he's impatient. By criticising the top leadership as he has done, in contrast to the praise he has given Anwar and the party previously, he only appears as a disgruntled person who tried to take one big step and had a fit when he couldn't.

A new party?

Presently, he's going to offer us a new party. While an honestly good party with honestly good candidates is very appealing - well, we've heard it all before haven't we? P. Uthayakumar's Human Rights Party, the Makkal Sakhti Party and the Parti Cinta Malaysia are just two examples. Nowadays it seems to me that setting up a new party is all the rage - you place yourself as President of a new party you create and try to ride on your previous wave of popularity and anti-establishment sentiments. But it doesn't work that way.

The Human Rights Party has been doing nothing. Uthayakumar tried to ride his 'Hindraf 5' popularity to create the next MIC while the Makkal Sakhti Party is a joke - just using the Hindraf movement's popular tagline does nothing to show people that it's a genuinely concerned party.

So how do we know Zaid's new supposed Third Force will not be another figure-centric party with only one prominent leader of potential?

What it means for Pakatan Rakyat

What it means is that come the next General Elections, we will see three-cornered fights. We will see Zaid's party stealing some of Pakatan's share of the anti-BN votes - any idiot could tell you that this will only mean that BN will win. We will see BN attacking Pakatan amidst Zaid's departure and PKR's further-ruined credibility. No PKR, no Anwar - how to win?

It's not all gloom though. I believe that if Zaid is true to his standards (and perhaps he is) then his party will at least be filled with genuinely good leaders. PKR was conceived to free Anwar - that perhaps was what made it what it is today. If Zaid can avoid that and de-centralise himself, then he could plausibly make something good out of it. And if he works with Pakatan, they can agree to close each others' gaps and fight BN one-on-one. Let the new party put in good candidates where Pakatan cannot find any. No more untested PKR/UMNO-Trojan candidates. That's the best chance there is.

But unless PKR can pull its socks up and change itself, there is no way it can change the nation.

As for Zaid...

Zaid's image has certainly taken quite a beating in my eyes. He seems a little less patient (and granted it's hard not to be, in the present political climate) and more abrasive. But maybe that's what we need.

I always thought he should have joined DAP. Rather than PKR, which has a more multi-racial image, the DAP remains a Chinese-centric party by many people's perceptions, and a prominent Malay leader like Zaid could do much to bring it to the Malay voters. One man cannot make the whole of PKR look better because its problems are not that of image but rather of structure. DAP, however, just needs an image boost, comparatively.

Furthermore, his role in creating Pakatan's common platform would have been invaluable. I hope he sticks to that, at least. I want to believe in Zaid Ibrahim. He has abandoned PKR, but he has said nothing about Pakatan - and I hope that there he will stay.

Not That Kind of Blackmail La

2010-11-19T14:00:00.000+08:00

Some people have said that the word 'blackmail' in the previous post was too harsh. Well for one thing I don't tolerate this kind of nonsense (read: bullshit) by teachers so I don't think it's harsh much if taken in that sense. But, I also did not mean it to be taken that way. Let's just say it's for lack of a better word, and essentially that is what the teacher did: she is withholding something, or rather threatening to not help him, if he does not go along with her demands.

While that's probably not criminal (I never said it was) it's still wrong. So it's not criminal blackmail, to get it straight - I'm no clear on the laws for these kinds of things anyway. So don't go report this to the police or anything, or I may get dragged out on making false accusations - I'm simply saying she should be punished in her capacity as a school teacher, by the school, and not as a citizen having committed a crime.

A Scout, A Teacher - and Blackmail

2010-11-10T20:43:00.001+08:00

To start this off, this is a serious post. This is not satire, nor is this a joke. This is completely true.

It's pretty old news to some people by now. But it's come to my attention that no one's made an official complaint, and no action has been taken. This worries me. So DU students, please read this because you have to know this.

Anyway, to understand this story we have to go back to early in the year to SMKDU's Sports Day 2010 - if you recall, the Scouts won the marching competition for the first time in a long while.

Some time later, after the first semester exam if I'm not mistaken, a Scout (let's call him Mr. C) went to his biology teacher (let's call her Cik S.) to ask if his nearly-A paper could be pulled up one grade.

And you know what Cik S. said?

She said she would pull his grade up, if (and here's the part that's utter garbage) he admitted that the Scouts copied the PKBM's marching formation for Sports Day.

If your reaction is along the lines of 'what the shit', then you know what a stupid thing this Cik S. has done.

About the Marching

It's not the issue. Number one, I don't believe the Scouts copied the PKBM's formation because, number two, the PKBM does not own a formation (its formation being a recycled routine re-used year after year). Criss-crossing, salutes and stomps are basic components of any marching formation - these simple moves are what the PKBM uses, to my knowledge, and there is no copying to be done. If they had done something actually novel, such as, say, a backflip of some sort, then there may be merit to this claim - but they did not as far as I can tell.

Which brings us to number three. If the Scouts decided to 'copy' the 'formation' and use the supposed same routine the PKBM did, then the fact that they won means that they simply did it better. Simple as that.

In summary, copying here would be bad if it was intellectual theft. The formation was not creative and did not 'belong' to the PKBM, therefore no theft occurred. And this is assuming they did copy the formation, which I don't think they did.

However, this isn't really the problem with what Cik S. did - but I talked about it in case anyone wants to argue about it.

The Real Problem

Well, what's the truly bad thing here?

1) Cik S. was trying to get Mr. C to admit to something he doesn't believe in, as a condition for doing something.

2) When deciding whether or not to award extra marks for this sort of situation (a nearly-A paper for example), a teacher may usually go by the person's conduct, attitude in class, work ethic etc. But instead, what Cik S. is doing is subjecting the decision to whether or not she gets what she wants.

3) Whether or not the Scouts copied anybody's formation is irrelevant to exam marks. It's bloody ridiculous. It's a sham and worse, it throws a bad light on the school - my former, much-respected school.

4) Trying to coerce a false statement from someone, under threat of not doing something that would help said person, probably amounts to blackmail. That's right, you read that correctly.

Blackmail. I'm saying Cik S. is essentially blackmailing Mr. C - say this and give me my satisfaction or else I'll not give you that A!

5) What does this say about a teacher? I respect the profession of teaching. In Malaysia it used to mean so much - in the History books you read about all the intellectuals who fought for Independence - the smart graduates went to work in their fields. But the best became teachers. And look at this teacher now. Cik S. is supposed to help students, not fulfil her apparent disdain of the Scouts or derive personal pleasure at the possible expense of a student's exam grade.

Now, this isn't to say that Mr. C deserves that A. Maybe he's been a good student, maybe not. But the bad thing is that Cik S. didn't weigh it based on him. She weighed it based on her demands, and that's horrible.

Now What?

Well, I demand this teacher be punished accordingly. From what I hear, she is now in charge of the Asrama students at school. Well, take that away. I don't think this merits a sacking (and she is a greenhorn teacher fresh out of her studies after all) but it does merit a strong, strong reprimand.

I just want all of your reading this to know about this - and hopefully you'll let other people know too, all the former students of DU who miss their school and want things to go right there.

Justin Jarret Emerges, People Cheer

2010-11-06T23:45:00.002+08:00

BREAKING NEWS

Justin J. Jarret, one of Malaysia's top bloggers, finally broke his silence last night when he posted on his blog for the first time in months.

After going incommunicado for months, Mr. Jarret finally updated his blog with a cryptic, if short, message to his loyal readers. In his post, he hints that he no longer has the 'free time' he used to and that 'Form 6 (an allusion to the agents supposedly keeping him down?) is [expletive].

Expressing 'surprise' that his blog has grown so popular, Mr. Jarret cleverly acknowledges the growing tide of discontent amongst people - he ends on an optimistic note, hoping that he will be able to post more.

Most interestingly, he does not end his final sentence with a full stop - either a subtle hint that he is unable (or not allowed) to complete his post or that there is more to come on the matter. Either way, his fans are waiting in growing excitement for his next post.

In an exclusive interview with Faction92, Justin Jarret reveals more explicit details behind his disappearance:

"The feds man...they had me....I couldn't do NOTHING! You hear me man......NOTHIN"

Once again referring to outside agents, and not ending his sentence with a full stop, Mr. Jarret is clearly trying to get a message across. With time, he may yet reveal more.

Nolan's Final Batman Film

2010-11-05T15:38:00.001+08:00

It's probably been out a while but...the third movie is going to be called 'The Dark Knight Rises' (I know lame title right).

The Riddler is not going to be the villain. And neither will he be played by Johnny Depp so shut up about that.

No, there's no Joker in the film too. And Two-Face is considered dead.

And it'll be out in 2012 - if anyone dares to make that stupid the-world's-gonna-end-in-2012 claim I'm going to slap you and then tell you I'll give you 50 bucks if it does.

What a long wait.

If you don't believe me, Google is your friend.

How To Make A Movie

2010-11-03T20:46:00.003+08:00

What's up. This is Eric T. and today imma show you how to make a movie.

A good movie.

First you need a star. If you've got big bucks then you can go for a veteran.

If you're broke then go for a newbie.

If you can't get any good stars, a model (see image on left) will have to do.

But, make sure it's a good model.

A cute dog always pulls the ratings up. Plus points if the dog 'dies' during the movie - sobs are inevitable (please do not actually harm the dogs though).

Good scenery will do wonders for your film too.

Exotic locations like the local mamak store or the crowded kopitiam are good for local shows, not so much for grand epics.

(I assume that's what you're making here)

Food shots are a crowd favourite too.

On the left, we see a screenshot of a nicely executed food scene. The good food, the background scenery plus the crazy looks of anticipation on the girls' faces all feed into the scene.

Touching, emotional scenes are important too. A character brooding over something sad is a powerful cinematic tool.

Note also the spectacles on the side table, implying the person is crying - small visual clues like this enrich the scene.

Most effective of all is a well-written death scene.

The use of light and shadow here aptly capture the mood.

The people standing round him, seen but not identified, add mystery and depth to the scene.

...but then of course if you want a good plot twist you can always revive the character. But make it plausible.

2010-10-31T12:43:00.000+08:00

Does this look disgusting or does this look disgusting? Somehow it disturbs me. Deeply.

(And I'm sorry for subjecting any readers to this horrible image but I'd like to know - I'm not the only one who thinks this looks absolutely weird right?

2010-10-25T14:23:00.000+08:00

http://www.malaysia-today.net/mtcolumns/letterssurat/35449-errors-in-pmr-english-paper

What an embarrassment.

By Mr. Lim in The Star

I WISH to highlight some glaring errors which appeared in English Paper 1 of the recent PMR (Penilaian Menengah Rendah) examination.

Candidates had to read through a passage and answer questions 29 to 34. I was both disappointed and surprised as the passage had some serious errors.

In the first paragraph, the author wrote: “Being a Penangite, it was indeed fun to go somewhere far as it would be a change from my normal routine…”

This is a classic dangling modifier in which the author refers it (the trip) as a Penangite.

There were two other flaws in the second paragraph:

The first one “Drop me off at a small town” should correctly read as “in a small town” while the other one “I went to enquire at the bus station” should in fact read “I went to enquire about the bus schedule at the bus station”.

The writer wrote in the third paragraph: “… I alighted where most buses stopped for passengers to get refreshments and stretch their legs.”

Did he or she really mean he or she got off the bus where most buses stopped for passengers to get refreshments and stretch their legs?

Then, in the fourth paragraph, the passage read: “I enquired from someone and was told to wait at a bus stop across the road. Hence, I waited eagerly…”

The word “hence” means “for that reason” and to me, it is not an appropriate word to use in that context. The word “hence” is a formal word, it should not be included in that context and is not followed by a comma but a noun, or noun phrase.

For example, “He was involved in a serious road accident – hence the scars.”

This is like a square peg in a round hole. Hence, the writer or teacher has poor diction.

Furthermore, the usage, “I enquired from” is not a standard form of English, it should be “I enquired of”.

I was fuming with anger when I read the last sentence of the passage: “This will definitely be one experience that I will never forget!”

What was the author trying to say - did the experience happen or did it not? It should read: “That was definitely an experience that I will never forget!”

Did the author imply that the experience is yet to happen? The correct one should be: “That was definitely an experience that I will never forget!”

In question 32, “The word alighted means: A - got down…”. In standard English, we do not say “get down the bus”, we use “get off the bus”.

In question 33, “The bus stopped at Yong Peng to allow the passengers to: A – take a nap; B – relax themselves; C – check into a hotel…”

The phrase “check into a hotel” (in C) should in fact read “check in at a hotel” or “check in to a hotel”.

The word “relax” (in B) is not used with reflexive pronouns like myself, yourself , themselves, etc.

There were at least four or five grave grammatical mistakes in this PMR 2010 English Paper 1 passage.

It is a shame that such errors have appeared in the language paper of a major national exam!

Even the reviewers, who must be English Language specialists, were not able to detect the mistakes.

There is a Russian proverb that aptly says, “A fish rots from the head down’’.

If we want to improve the standard of English in Malaysia, we have to retrain our English teachers comprehensively and thoroughly.

We have to do it before they start teaching our children. Please do something about this situation fast for the sake of our next generation.

MR LIM

Haikus with Han: Martians

2010-10-24T17:55:00.000+08:00

Han Xern once told me his theory on Martians.

"Hey Nick ah, you know Martians right?"

"Oh yeah, poker with them every week..."

"They're like usually green right? I know why"

"Why"

"Because they have chlorophyll!"

Dot dot dot.

"No?" Han says.

Dot dot dot.

"It's like, that's why they can live on Mars! with photosynthetic pigments, they can synthesise their own sustenance! No need to hunt for fish on barren Mars! Plus that's also why they can fly to Earth to invade us, they don't have to bring food on their spacecraft, they just expose themselves to the Sun and that's enough!"

"Okay..."

"You been reading those Astrobiology websites again right?"

...

"Yeah..."

Is that what Kah Yung's green facial dot is...??

Haze, courtesy of Indonesia

2010-10-22T17:24:00.000+08:00

Indonesia, can you please haul your ass off your chairs and do something about that bloody haze?

Politicians and heads of state may be too chicken to stick it to you, but being a normal citizen, I'm going to criticise.

Every year you screw us over. Badly. You screw with our health, you drive tourists away from us, you give our already-lazy students more days off from school. Yet every year that damned smoke keeps coming from your country.

Seriously. Is it so hard to stop a bunch of lazy farmers from burning down forests? You can't say you can't find them, not when there's a huge blaze happening somewhere. There's absolutely no excuse.

Bad as Malaysia may be, at least what we do doesn't directly screw with other countries this badly.

Leaders, why the hell are you shutting up? The most you can do is make one lousy phone call a year to the Foreign Minister or some other schmuck who'll give you lip service before going off to play golf on some space that used to be forest a few days ago.

No. Your citizens, the people who elected you, are falling ill because of this. We can't go outdoors for sports, we have tu wear masks. And the best you can do is give a polite phone call? No! Scold them a bit. Give them an ultimatum. It always amazes me how the government doesn't appear to give a shit about health. Oh, you can get heated and rant about all sorts of things that have no direct bearing on people, but when something serious like this comes along you shut up. Why?

Justin Jarret In Hiding?

2010-10-20T16:28:00.001+08:00

After months of inactivity, many have wondered as to the whereabouts of Justin J. Jarret (image), the No.2 blogger in the country.

With no updates on his hugely popular blog since July, speculation has been rife over whether Mr. Jarret has been incarcerated in Kamunting under the Internal Security Act (ISA).

A source from within the Home Ministry has stated that while he cannot determine if Mr. Jarret is indeed being held in Kamunting, the Home Ministry has indeed been keeping close tabs on the outspoken blogger and political activist.

"I wouldn't be surprised if he really is in there, right now," said the unnamed source, adding that "they would never announce if he was. Look at the RPK case", in reference to the uproar and protests that followed Raja Petra Kamarudin's ISA detention in September 2008.

However, many have also speculated that Justin Jarret may have followed RPK's footsteps in fleeing the country, though what he may be running away from is unknown, as well as the reason he has stopped blogging. Presently, Mr. Jarret has not been charged nor convicted of any offence.

Najib Delivers 'Spectacular' Budget, Draws Praise

2010-10-19T16:26:00.002+08:00

Malaysia, 17 October - Datuk Seri Najib Razak's Budget 2011 today drew praise for its focus on generating wealth and putting Malaysia in the international spotlight.

"When you look at the amount of money these mega-projects will generate for us, it really is impressive," said a senior UMNO division chief. "The 5-billion ringgit tower itself should push about 1 billion into our pockets. Najib knows how to take care of his people well."

He also added that the Prime Minister's move to exempt sales tax on mobile phones and the import duty and excise duty on hybrid cars would please many UMNO bigwigs.

"Many of us were eyeing the iPhone 4...and a new car as well."

Also praising Najib was Robert Mugabe, President of Zimbabwe. In describing Najib's budget, Mugabe deemed is as "spectacular" and "something we are considering emulating in Zimbabwe...his dedication to generating wealth and plundering national coffers impresses me", noting that Najib was "a man after my own heart".

The President of Zimbabwe has long been friends with Malaysia's top leaders, often holidaying in Malaysia and golfing with the Prime Minister.

But Najib's rave reviews are not limited to eminent African leaders. Former US President George W. Bush has also responded positively to Najib's Budget 2011.

"Najeeb's budget is, uh - well it's huge. Nucular huge. You know, back when I was President, I think I misunderestimated this fella - now I want to bring him to Texas for some pork ribs," said Bush.

Being a Muslim, Najib cannot of course consume pork.

The Bugdet 2011 comes amid a string of great successes in Najib's administration. Upon taking the premiership, he tabled his wildly popular '1Malaysia' concept, before proposing a slew of reforms that have garnered him much support. His New Economic Model (NEM) in particular has been given the stamp of approval by many esteemed economists.

Is it any wonder that Najib will lead Barisan Nasional to an electoral landslide in 2011?

Hate Speech

2010-10-09T18:32:00.002+08:00

Homophobic Haters

http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/2010/09/28/assistant-michigan-ag-targets-openly-gay-college-student/?iref=allsearch

The summary: Andrew Shirvell, a Michigan Assistant AG has been constantly attacking Chris Armstrong, recently elected student body president of the University of Michigan. The first openly gay president.

This guy stinks of homophobia. There's a difference between free speech and hate speech, and I think sometimes some Americans take their First Amendment rights too far. The simplest way to determine the limit of your rights: to see when it infringes on the rights of others. Your rights cannot come at the cost of someone else's.

Shirvell, with a picture from his blog.

And this Shirvell guy has done just that. He set up a blog (which is now invite only) and consistently attacked and criticised Chris Armstrong irrationally. He made baseless accusations, he spun things and he even insulted him (calling him Satan's representative on the student's council and scrawling a Nazi sign on a picture of him). As an assistant AG, you'd expect him to know better.

But no. This blasted bigot is clearly attacking this student, protesting outside his house and slandering him because he is gay. Supposedly he is "advancing a radical homosexual agenda". His main campaign platforms were longer cafeteria hours, lower tuition fees and gender-neutral housing. How is that radical and homosexual? If anything the gender-neutral housing suggests otherwise. Campaigning for letting men and women share dorms seems to run counter to what a homosexual would personally want, doesn't it?

Watch the Interviews

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNDVDo_A9pI

Watch this admirable video of Anderson Cooper taking this guy apart and showing him for the bigot and hypocrite he really is.

Because I'm betting lots of mothers watch CNN for this guy.

Now, I hate judging people by looks, but you can tell a lot about a person by how they look. Not what they look like but how they look. The way they look at you. Their expressions. And my first impression about the guy was 'snobbish elitist arrogant'. The way he sort of looks down his nose at you, with this supercilious look. This is not a guy I want defending me in court.

http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/2010/10/07/targeted-student-its-hard-not-to-say-something/?iref=allsearch

And here we see an interview with Chris Armstrong, the target of those attacks. He seems a nice enough person (though of course I cannot judge based on an interview alone - but at the very least he has not appeared anything like what Shirvell has alleged.

Conclusion?

While Americans and their First Amendment rights (they seem to love quoting that. "Oh it's my First Amendment right, oh I can say what I want") are admirable, rights are earned and not to be taken for granted. Abusing it voids your entitlement to that right.

And while you're completely entitled to your opinion - that is, Shirvell is completely entitled to hate gays and think they're wrong and to not like Chris Armstrong at all - propagating such opinions and imposing them on others at the possible cost of the target's reputation, security and peace of mind is nothing short of an infringement on human rights.

Let's not go into the gay debate. Whether you like homosexuals or not, don't you agree that they're human beings too, and deserve not to be subjected to these kinds of things?

Someone's Late.

2010-10-01T16:13:00.001+08:00

Wake.

Sunday bright - sweat and light outside but there's no worry, no worry - dinner homework rest.

Rest.

All eyes on you and all ears away - pictures with no sound play with light in a dark room.

Night? Tired sleepy slow

And grave.

Monday, school calling - is it the dream, or the morning? Another 5 minutes usually but no asking this time -

- Sleep. No more hindsight only blind sight. And nevermore delayed.

All eyes on you.

Still, stone, and late.

Wake.

27th Sept 2010

Haikus with Han: Shadow

2010-09-30T17:00:00.000+08:00

Han Xern's Golden Retriever, for those of you out of the know, is called Shadow. I know, I know, such a creative name but let's not get hung up on that.

What I'm going to share with you today is an interesting exchange we had while discussing - you guessed it - Shadow.

"Hey Nick ah..."

"Yeah?"

"You know my dog right -"

"Duh of course I know your dog -"

"She's a bit, I dunno, scary."

"You don't say"

"Serious. Like those Japanese horror films, you know? Walk into a silent, empty walkway, then pause a little. Then I suddenly look left or right and BAM, Shadow is there looking directly at me."

"..."

"There was also this one incident at night - I was sleeping and then I felt this warm thing on my face. I woke up and AAAH it was Shadow drooling over me. I swear, she was trying to eat me, I could see her eyes."

At this point I was dialling Tanjung Rambutan's number on my phone, behind my back. "It's SPM," I thought, "it's gotta be."

"And then there was the time she tried to munch on Kye -"

"Hey why don't we just go see Shadow and talk to her? I'll tell her to back off"

Gratefully, he agrees and off we go.

As we enter her territory, Shadow is nowhere to be seen. I stare out at Han Xern's beautiful, lush tropical backyard, complete with waterfall and tropical sounds.

Then I look left. Bam. Shadow. Chills.

It was pretty scary. She was drooling slurping licking her mouth - clearly hungry.

Was Han Xern not bullshitting for once?

Sometimes, You Have to Respect this Nazri Aziz fellow.

2010-09-26T18:19:00.002+08:00

You know, you really gotta hand it to Nazri Aziz sometimes - the guy has got guts man. He's said some things, sure, things we don't like or agree on, but at least he says what he thinks just about all of the time. He slams Mahathir. He slams UMNO. He slams Perkasa. He slams Utusan. Basically he's not only gone against the opposition like his fellow BN-mates, he's got the guts to to cut no crap with his own side as well.

Read this and tell me you don't respect him just a bit:

http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/nazri-responds-to-utusans-awang-selamat/

This is unlike Mahathir, who nowadays (to me at least) just spews nonsense, with the apparent aim of simply undermining the PM of the day. First it was Abdullah, back when he was pimping Najib. Now Najib has taken over, he's doing it all over again, if being less antagonistic towards Najib than Abdullah. Doesn't the old man realise that BN's political survival depend largely on whether or not Najib can deliver? If he stifles him like he did Abdullah, can he really blame BN when they fail at the next GE?

Mahathir used to stand for something. He used to have the same guts too, talking about his own race and acknowledging the problem. Now he's an ultra again, calling for the NEP policies to stay, and apparently he's just throwing support behind whoever wants to idolise and take his sage advice. Najib doesn't appear to be listening, so Ibrahim Ali instead. Just quit UMNO and join Perkasa, Mahathir.

Muhyiddin is similarly disappointing. I found him one of the few reliable, clean leaders on BN's side post March 08 and pre-Najib. Once he became DPM, however - completely gone. Not only has he lost the ability to speak up on real issues, he's also started to say really stupid things. He actually seems to be running counter to Najib's 1Malaysia as well. By the way, Muhyiddin, I'd like to say that if you, the DPM and Education Minister, cannot touch a lowly, racist principal then where is the power in your post? Oh Wee Meng Chee can come up with a video and you're all guns ablazing, calling for action, but when principals compare Indians to dogs you shut up and don't do anything. Come on, man.

Muhyiddin said he was Malay first and Malaysian second. I suppose I cannot say anything if he feels that way, though as the DPM I would question if it's really the kind of message he wants to set out. Nazri Aziz, however, said "And yes I am a Malaysian first and a Malay next. Does any bigot have a problem with that?" (UPDATED: minor wording differences)

And for that I salute him.

Don't get me wrong, he's done and said so many other things in the past - very UMNO-like things. But what I appreciate is that he doesn't seem to be an UMNO zombie, he's a loose cannon that doesn't mind taking aim at his own people once in awhile.

I hope that some time in the future, this guy gets his facts straight and his act right, and then maybe he'll be a worthy enough politician to have around in a better government.

Haikus with Han: Delayed-Response Pool Talking

2010-09-22T17:58:00.000+08:00

Talking during swimming training is always fun. There's the same game of dodging the authority when trying to get a few words into the conversation. But the repercussions are much harsher. Talk and get caught, pumping. Maybe. If not, a few extra laps. If your coach is kind enough you just get told off.

But what makes it really fun is what I call the 'delayed-response' factor of talking in the pool. You'll be chatting and then halfway you hear a whistle - time to kick off. All the way till you finish the set and then when you're back at the wall, the conversation picks up at the same place.

The talking is a little like instant messaging. Halfway through something comes up (email, virus?) and you switch windows mid-sentence, before coming back and continuing.

"Hey Nick, so you know that Add Maths question today ah -"

Kick off. Swim swim swim. Wall.

"- that question about the volume of the cone, do we -"

Whistle. Dive. Kick kick kick. Wall.

"- differentiate the lesser cone first before -"

Another 100 metres. Then rest.

"- calculating the rate of expansion with regards to the larger cone?"

Oops. Caught. Extra 500. Go.

"Well, Han -"

Caught again. Plus 1000.

"- could you repeat that again?"

Another 2.5 thousand to go.

What A Malaysian Day Today

2010-09-16T18:16:00.001+08:00

Today is Malaysia Day, and 47 years ago today Malaysia was formed.

First a little background. Malaysia Day was supposed to be on the 31st of August 1963 - it would've made things a lot easier, sure. But of course, some other countries had to go and protest, so here we are celebrating on the 16th.

I'm not really going to re-start the whole big talk and bashing about people who don't really care about today, because I already typed it all out and I'm tired. But I am going to say that it's a rather nice day that started with me studying after midnight and dozing off on a study table. I didn't even remember (or notice) that it was the 16th when midnight passed.

But today is today and still I'm taking this time to think about it a little, that hopefully one day Malaysia Day will be National Day and there will be parades just as big and grand on the 16th of September as there already are on the 31st of August. I hope schools will have celebrations just as fun. Most of all I hope the young ones, the likely cynics who will grow up planning to ship out of the country as soon as they can, will love this country and perhaps have a little faith in it. That maybe they'll start cleaning up their own house rather than run to someone else's.

You know, maybe Malaysia will be great again. We have everything we need.

Plenty of intelligent, professional Malaysians - though they're overseas.

Brilliant people who can push this country forward - I've seen a few.

Resources. Beautiful forests and beaches.

Peace. Racial tension, maybe - but no civil war. We have Malay and Chinese and Indians working together to unite the country.

And another message...for Lee Kuan Yew. With all due respect, Malaysia would probably NOT be better of in terms of racial harmony had Singapore not exited Malaysia. Although I wish myself that the split didn't have to happen, Singapore was expelled because its largely Chinese population would be quite a problem for the ruling Malays. Bigger numbers would probably mean bigger trouble, and we have no way of determining for sure that things wouldn't be worse off today.

Mr Lee, the racial peace (not necessarily harmony) that exists in your country today has its roots in the system of meritocracy you implemented; fair and equal for all (mostly). No one fights because they don't have a reason to, with nobody holding power over the other. There is no imbalance. The Malays in Singapore don't fight because if they wanted special rights they would have stayed in Malaysia.

Now if Singapore had remained in Malaysia, there is no guarantee this would have worked round the country. You could keep it that way in Singapore but with such a large number of people in objection to the concept of true equality, there would have been no improvement. Having a few million extra Chinese would not have changed the mindset of the population - and that is precisely what is needed to implement this system, and ensure fairness. Singapore succeeded because it took out the ones who wanted the system, leaving the others to stay in Malaysia.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that Singapore was out of Malaysia because it couldn't impart this 'racial harmony' - or equality, at least. I would even say true racial harmony does not exist in Singapore. Beneath the general politeness Singaporeans have for each other, I still hear people call the Malays lazy and put them down. Racism is an impersonal thing in this case. The people who do not think much of Malays can still see them everyday and joke with them and work with them. It is their mental projection of the Malay identity, I think, that they still model this mindset around. There is peace because there is no imbalance; no reason to raise a commotion and fight. There is no real harmony.

With all due respect. (I am on scholarship after all and so it would be quite counter-productive to be kicked back to Malaysia now - I want to return, but not quite yet. And here I thought I could write anything, having escaped the Malaysian Thought Police...out of the frying pan, and yadda yadda yadda I suppose)

Haikus with Han: Stars, and Why They Twinkle

2010-09-14T22:54:00.002+08:00

When Han Xern's not studying obsessively, or playing DotA, or swimming, or studying semi-obsessively, he's usually discussing great matters of science, philosophy and the dichotomy of chaos and calm in the domain of philosophical science and ethics.

One day he got onto the topic of stars. "Hey Nick, you know why stars twinkle ah?"

"Of course -" I begin, but he interrupts.

"It's because of light refraction, right? The Earth's turbulent atmosphere sort of disturbs the light's pathway here and there, and it refracts, causing the spread of light to look uneven. Right?"

"No way, nonsense la you. Stars twinkle because in that instant, in that precise moment, the star isn't burning."

"Bullshit."

"Seriously. The star just goes out as though someone blew it out, like a candle."

"Nonsense la Nick. Don't even know why I ask you these things."

"Because I'm older."

"By three days!"

"And a few hours."

Silence.

"Hey Nick..."

"Hmm?"

"How are babies made?"

"Well, there's this factory in China..."

Whose God?

2010-09-08T21:02:00.000+08:00

If you can, take a look at this (I'll warn you, 20-minute video) on the debate on the use of the word 'Allah' by non-Muslims.

I kind of sympathise with the Yusri fellow, he was a little drowned out by the other two.

Anyway, I'd like for some comments. Just sound off below and tell me what you think of the whole issue. No attacks - no direct attacks on the comments of others, I just want you all to make your stand, and tell me why you think so. If you want to comment on why you think the other side's argument is wrong, briefly mention why, then leave it.

No replying to the comments of others just to reiterate your stand...just say it once and leave it to stand.

Merdeka Part 3

2010-09-06T16:34:00.001+08:00

Progress

As for our country's progress...I honestly don't really know what to think anymore. From both sides, I keep hearing different things...people telling me how they used to grow up in kampungs and mix with different races and how people are somewhat segregated now, and also people telling me about the older, more conservative generation which is giving way to our more liberal group now.

Personally I hope we are getting better. I think I worked well with my friends of all races but let’s be honest here – when I went to secondary school, cliques and groups were mostly less diverse when it came to race. Chinese usually stuck to Chinese, maybe a Malay and Indian or two in the group (but importantly, I must point out – they were just as close) and vice versa for the other races.

Not that we need such a nice even distribution – you can’t say “Hey! Got 3 Malay 5 Chinese 2 Indian in your group, cannot! Go kick out 2 Chinese and bring in an Indian or two!” But when it’s skewed so much toward one side, well, it does show that we have a natural tendency for this sort of thing. I wish that we were so integrated that we no longer can differentiate between the races.

Indonesia, I think, has done this very successfully. I’ve seen the Indons here in Singapore, and they are a damn united bunch, pulling their collective weight socially and politically (really). There are no ‘Chinese Indonesians’ or ‘Malay Indonesians’ or anything like that – they’ve blurred the line between races, melting them all into one big Indonesian pot. If we were like that, if we were all just Malaysian rather than Malay/Chinese/Indian then things would be better, I expect.

Also, touching on Malaysia’s growth as a whole – that I do believe we have progressed. Economically we were going strong over a decade ago, before the Asian Financial Crisis hit if I’m not mistaken. And yes, I agree that many conservative elements of past Malaysia have softened now – PAS being a case in point. No doubt about that.

But I do disagree about corruption. Corruption is always present, yes, but it mostly just prevailed during Mahathir’s era, not before – when he brushed aside the principles of separation of powers, he interfered with the judiciary and in the end that bred corruption.

We should celebrate how far we’ve come, yes. But we should also question ourselves – the country’s status and our own individual standings. Simply because we know we can be so much better. By reducing corruption, we could save ourselves A LOT of money each year. Fighting corruption and promoting true racial harmony alone should be enough to promote lots of FDI in Malaysia – who wouldn’t want to invest in a stable, harmonious country that doesn’t leak money and squander its abundant resources?

“These days the politicians KNOW they have to be extra careful and they tiptoe but evidently some have still made boo boos that make the headlines. Nonetheless they know they can't fool around as much as before because society has growned up and got sick of tolerating their crap everyday.”

This is amusing. And I agree 100% J It’s the very reason Najib is now implementing populist policies, why Khairy has softened his racial rhetoric and why Syed Hamid Albar has mostly been shut up. As much as many primitive politicians want to beat the war drums of racial tensions, they know that nowadays it doesn’t score them many points. The only problem of course is that a significant minority still wants to dredge these things up…sigh.

Despite all this, don’t think I’m pessimistic. Because if I thought the country couldn’t go even higher, even I would ditch it real quick…

So while we look back at how far we've come with pride, we should also look forward knowing there's a long long way to go. There's just 10 years left to 2020 and I think it's possible to do a lot of things to become a first-world country by then.

Imagine, if we can just trash corruption in 10 years (not a particularly difficult thing IMO) and liberate the economy by encouraging competition, we stand to have our economy grow a LOT, simply because the profits we're making won't be leaked through corruption, and because FDI can increase a lot when the conditions are favourable. Just those two things can make a huge difference.

But can even that be done?

Merdeka Part 2

2010-09-03T15:32:00.002+08:00

I refer to Joel Lee’s blog post on the 31^st of August.

First off I take it as a nice compliment that he’s blogged in response to my post – haven’t seen that happen very often.

Second, he’s illustrated one point in particular that I’d like to point out, and I quote:

“We'll never get anywhere if we keep talking about the deep poop we're in.”

It just sums it up about right. First thing I thought was, wow how correct this is. I’ve been saying for a long time that people who do nothing but put the country down and run away to work elsewhere should stuff their words somewhere else, because they’re being critical without being constructive, and not even interested in helping the country on top of all that.

Then I realised I’m somewhat guilty of that. I have given suggestions, but it’s been few and infrequent. But I do feel that at the very least I’m one of the people who will not run off to work for better money and then talk crap about our government. No, I’m going to STAY HERE and talk crap about the government.

Notice I said the government. Not Malaysia. The government.

The country is good. It’s great in fact. But it performs badly when the government is screwed up. As it now is. Remember folks, loyalty to the country and not to the government. The gov’t works for us, not the other way round. We picked them.

And on another note – the “we’re not celebrating” part.

Hey, actually I do think we ought to celebrate it (and in fact I sure did - went to eat steamboat). But what I meant in writing "we're not celebrating" was that when the country should be celebrating, instead we're having all these crappy things happening. We're having people who are saying racist things, and having petty political arguments, when they should be talking about our independence and about what we've been through. Which I thought was sad, but I suppose it came out a bit ambiguously (to which I must thank Joel for pointing out these flaws and misperceptions in my arguments – it’s the sort of thing I need to know to do well for my GP paper here aha).

There's also another part about the post I want to address, but seeing as it was kind of long I'll only be posting it next time, in a few days. Till then, keep commenting and criticising, and thank you.

Celebrating 53 years of Independence (NOT Nationhood)

2010-08-31T17:48:00.001+08:00

"Today, we celebrate our nation's 53rd year of nationhood and independence."

What is so wrong with the statement above? It's almost all a lie.

No, we are NOT celebrating 53 years of Malaysia. Malaysia hasn't even passed 50 years of age yet. For you morons who never bothered enough with your history textbook, Malaysia was formed on the 16th of September, 1963. Not August 31st 1957. There is a world of difference.

Secondly, our 53 years of Independence only applies to the people of Peninsula Malaysia. We may have been 'free' (it's a subjective term) for 53 years but our brothers and sisters across the pond only got their 'freedom' in 1963 - 6 years later. So what are they supposed to feel today? No doubt some feel patriotic, but more because all their lives government history textbooks have told them how important August the 31st 1957 is and how as part of Malaysia they should honour the day.

If I were them, I'd still celebrate Hari Merdeka. And it's a good thing. But I probably wouldn't feel much, because my country didn't even exist yet 53 years ago. I'd want to honour September the 16th instead.

And why shouldn't we? It's the date that all of us share; we can all claim the 16th of September as our day, the day Malaysia was formed. Yet we're all making such a big hoo-haa about today and on the 16th we things just go as normal in the Peninsula. Maybe that's why Sabah and Sarawak keep voting BN. Maybe they want to spite the ignorant, selfish rakyat over in the Peninsula for ignoring the day most important to them as citizens of Malaysia.

And one man ponders a brighter future...

It's taken us 47 years to realise that September 16 should be a holiday, just like August 31. If not more important, then just as important. While I applaud Najib's move (and not because it'll be a day off, trust me), I can't help but wonder why nobody did it earlier, despite all the arguments and resentment. I can't help but wonder why Najib, who was no great hero and defender of East Malaysia, suddenly so happy to grant us a holiday on the 16th. Political points? Most likely. But still, the move's a move, and for that due praise is deserved.

I sincerely hope none of my friends ever wished Malaysia happy birthday today, because I would hate to call them morons. But like I said, give praise where it is due - same goes for scorn. It may be late in the day but I hope I've caught some of you in time before you go around proclaiming ourselves a nation of over 50. People will probably take more notice of September 16 now that it's a holiday (typical Malaysians) but still I'd be willing to bet there'll be many, many people who just sit at home and sleep in on the 16th, not knowing what it's about, and not knowing that as they're dozing that Malaysia was born that day many, many years ago.

The last lie? We're not 'celebrating'. Not when there are extremist supremacists hounding for obsolete rights in their old-age mentality, when non-Muslims cannot step into mosques without being thoroughly vilified and politicised, when Chinese mothers pull their children close as Indian men walk down the street, when school principals, educators that they are, spout racist remarks, when policemen around the nation pocket a little 'extra income' every day, when politicians get away with murder, when innocents fall to their deaths where corruption should be eradicated, where our brightest students do not get the right opportunities, when the system of our justice exonerates the criminals, when we cannot all sit in a kopitiam, black and brown and yellow, to chat about race and religion and laugh in the same sentence.

No, we're not celebrating. But we're hoping.

Teo Nie Ching, Ibrahim Ali and an Irish man walked into a mosque...

2010-08-29T10:59:00.002+08:00

Can Ibrahim Ali shut up already please. No moderate progressive voter has any intention of tolerating your racist tripe, your extremist rhetoric and your Ketuanan bullshit. You're just a third-force wannabe who sprung at the chance of a less vocal UMNO Youth. You're just pimping your (may I say sure-for-defeat) Perkasa party as an alternative UMNO, only UMNO itself at least knows that being that hardcore is only going to get you conservative Malay votes.

Which of course, equals no majority in Parliament.

Teo Nie Ching stepped into a mosque. So what? Taking her word that she didn't touch on politics (it'd be pretty dumb to do anyway), what has she done wrong? Did she swear there? Eat pork there? Drink alcohol there? Unless you are calling non-Muslims unclean (and that would be considered rock-bottom stupidity, even for you), there is nothing barring them from entering a mosque, if they follow the rules. You, good sir, are only trying to score political points yourself. You think we're stupid? I'm 18 and even people my age can see your useless facade. We learn to some degree how to structure arguments. Basically, yours goes like this:

'Oh look, an opposition MP did something'

'It's wrong'

'This demonstrates bad morals/desecration/etc.'

'Therefore her whole party - no, the whole damn opposition sucks'

'Therefore vote for BN Perkasa!'

All that you speak of is on a political level. You are the one bringing politics into this. While you should be on the ground in Pasir Mas, talking to your constituents and asking them what they'd like to see brought up in Parliament, whether they're happy with what you're saying, you instead are tooting your own damn filthy trumpet and trying to score cheap points by playing the race and religion card.

If this was a game of UNO cards, you know what would happen? You pass on the +2 race card to the BN MPs who slap another +2 to the opposition. Hopefully they then use a Reverse and smack it right back in your face - or better yet, 'Skip' it and send it to the rakyat who will be only too glad to bring out their +4 Wildcards and screw you people over.

Oh, I'm sorry. UNO cards are probably reminiscent of playing cards for you and playing them would be sacrilege wouldn't it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please don't bash my credentials and stomp on my good name with your mighty hammer of racial and religious justice. I'll go back to China, OK? I'll round up the Chinese and the Indians and we immigrants, foolish opportunists that we are, will go away from Malaysia and you can call it Tanah Melayu again.

Then you can have a 100% Bumiputra market share! Isn't that swell. And then let's see how the economy goes, shall we?

Ibrahim Ali, I look forward to seeing you lose your seat in the next election. I think Najib would prefer that as well. After all, you're only complicating his planned 'reforms' (they're weak but still there's something in it). Getting you out of the way will make his life easier. Look out for anything resembling C4, and best of luck to you.

Soy Tu Aire (I actually don't know what this means though UPDATE: Apparently it means "I'm Your Air")

2010-08-27T16:26:00.001+08:00

http://soytuaire.labuat.com

Click on the link above to visit this beautiful website that allows you to paint to music. Moving an inkbrush with your mouse, you swirl the ink around the moving page as every beat of the song pulses the ink. It even records the whole thing as a nice little video that you can email to yourself or your friends. Navigating the Spanish is a little tricky for us non-Spanish but you can go figure which of the words "Share with a friend" you'll understand in Spanish.

For the video of my (little random) painting go here:
http://soydeaire.labuat.com/index.html?id=594082

On Education

2010-08-24T17:54:00.001+08:00

Ah, education. It's the only way out of our mess. Give scholarships to foreign students to study in Malaysia. Even more importantly, keep our students in Malaysia as well. We're losing too many people to Singapore, and can you really be surprised? Who wouldn't want to go where they feel more appreciated for their talents? If every successful Malaysian who went to Singapore came back here, or hadn't left to begin with, we would probably be a lot better off.

Honestly this whole JPA thing is a pretty stupid thing on the government's part. The corruption and such I understand because they stand to gain from it. But what do they gain from giving scholarships to students who go overseas - and never come back? Essentially you lose a few hundred thousand ringgit per student, like making an investment with 0% returns. Instead their expertise goes to other countries, at our expense. So we end up with less money and fewer doctors.

So scrap it. So some students can't go to the UK to do medicine, so what? The state helps the people but the people must give back as well. It's a two-way thing. We cannot afford to dole out more money to help people who don't give a shit about helping the country back. Hey, it's their decision whether to migrate, sure. But running away with your scholarship is just bullshit. You're not screwing the government, you know - you're screwing your parents, your families, your friends, everyone else in the country who pays taxes. They sent you to study overseas so you'd come back and (assuming you're a doctor) treat them, but instead you go for the higher wages and the easier lives overseas.

If you're a damn true doctor, if you're a damn passionate doctor, you'll go where you're needed, not where you can make the most cash. If I'm going to a doctor for treatment, I'll want a doctor who's concerned about my health and who is going to think about my condition through and through till he gets the answer, not someone's who's only thinking of the bill he'll send me. If doctors operated under that rationale, they'd all flock to places like Malaysia, because we need them.

Well before this becomes a doctor-bashing article (and also because I don't want to alienate all my future doctor friends who may read this), I'll just say that education is our best bet out of all this. Not the perfect solution but certainly the best long-term one.

What to do:

1. Scrap Pendidikan Moral + Sivik. Either give non-Muslims the chance to study their own religion, or create a proper Social Studies subject where students are made aware of their social environment. Just saying 'we're a multiracial country' isn't enough - tell them about May 13, about tensions, everything. And Moral is important, just that the subject is complete bullshit. You think Muhyiddin thinks highly of the subject? Bet not. Let the study the real things, the real grey areas of morality - true moral education should teach people right and wrong, yes, but also to decide for themselves, logically, what's in between.

2. Do away with the purely exam-based system. Students only study at the last minute, so the smart ones get through, the less academically inclined won't be able to catch up and the ones who don't care will care less. Make year-round assessments common. This doesn't necessarily mean scrapping public exams, but don't make them the only thing that counts.

3. Put in more community service. Kids my generation don't no hardship, and they don't see the poverty in Malaysia - not the beggars shuffling down the street or the hardworking parents juggling 3 jobs for their child's education. The apathy stems from ignorance. Maybe if they were made to work in the community more, they'd so how they're needed...and maybe they'll want to stay.

4. Teach in English, already. Instead of flip-flopping like a bunch of trained seals, why not just stick to Maths and Science in English and let it run for longer than just a few years at a stretch, hmm? Just having the policy for a short period of time, then declaring it a failure, is complete ignorance, not to mention absurd stupidity. It takes time to train teachers in English and to adapt the system to it. Instead they foist teachers who can't speak English on us, see the rural students flunk, then slap the 'failure' tag on it and bury it. BM's important, I really really think so, but to not have these important subjects in English isn't rational right now.

5. Teach English better, already. Our standards of English are horrible. Do you know how many times people here in Singapore have been surprised to find I'm a Malaysian? Why, you ask...because of the way I speak English, which is to say, competently. Yes, competently. Not spectacularly or anything. That means that on the whole they see Malaysians as mongrel English speakers...and that's coming from the land where Phua Chu Kang originated. For goodness sake my friends have had to correct substitute English teachers in their own class! It says a lot when students are better at English than the teachers who studied it at uni (albeit as a second language).

6. Employ an alumni system if possible. One thing I've noticed where I am now (ACJC) is that lots of teachers love what they're doing there, and partly because they used to study there themselves. There's a whole lot of motivation in teaching when it's at your alma mater, and it shows. Most of them are just happy to be back there, and it's a way of going back to their old good times. If it's possible to implement that back home, then let it be done as far as possible. If I were a teacher, I know I'd like to go back to DU and teach...maybe help out with ECAs and work with students. While I understand teachers sometimes have to be posted to different schools, if this could be done it would be a good morale booster.

7. Give scholarships for local universities. Like I said, maybe lots of people won't like it, but if you send our best students to study overseas, then it's the leftovers that populate our universities...likewise, the results you get will match correspondingly. Good students are good students, and they don't have to go to Harvard to do well in university. But it'd be easier if we could...

8. Make our universities better. Universiti Malaya was once good (my dad just can't stop with the issue) but honestly it's a joke now. Barely made the 200 top unis last year and our higher-ups are so happy. Over the bridge, Singapore is having a laugh with NUS ranking in the top 50. Nonsense. Just trash the in-charges who have been dragging our higher education institutions down. Smash racial quotas. We're willing to help make your universities better, you know, if you'd just let us and if you'd just encourage us to go there. The first number of batches will always be a bit of a sacrifice, yes...graduating from a not well-ranked university, only getting perhaps moderate facilities and lecturers...but that's how you make it better, you have to start somewhere. Still, there'd be more incentive to graduate from a local, somewhat low-ranked university if we could...

9. Make more jobs available. If there were better, more rewarding jobs waiting for graduates in Malaysia, people wouldn't mind graduating from places like UM so much. As with most countries, a local degree is locally accepted just about anywhere in the country. Sure, it's not Oxford or anything, but it's sufficient. I'm sure many people, especially those from lower-income families, would be content staying in Malaysia where family and friends are to study at UM if they knew it could get them a fine job here. And if you top that with a scholarship offer (perhaps with a guaranteed job under bond after) then they'd be more than happy.

10. Lastly, improve our teachers. We don't need more racist headmistresses or headmasters (read the news lately?). We don't need people more concerned about the racial composition of our ECA executive committees. We want teachers who just want the best for the school. Pn. Norsham, for all the faults people ascribe to her, has at least shown that the school results come first and foremost among her responsibilities. Although I would argue the merit of placing too much concern on examinations, or winning awards, at the very least she has demonstrated that she just wants to rake in the A's...whether Malay or Chinese or Indian A's, doesn't matter. Similarly, we need more teachers, for one thing (there aren't enough) and we need better teachers. I've had these kind of teachers and if there were more of them we'd be a lot better off.

The [ ] Kind, Part 2

2010-08-22T13:53:00.000+08:00

The Musical Kind

These people aren't actually annoying, just very very prevalent. Every day they plaster lyrics from some song some people will know about, with a smiley thrown in for good measure.

"Di sini kami ditunjuk ajar, penuh keyakinan/Belajar berusaha bersama-sama, tangga kejayaan" :)

Perhaps sometimes it is tied to something emotional. The Emo Kind use song lyrics as well to personally talk to whoever they're talking to in public.

These kind may not necessarily be trying to be 'emo' or anything silly like that. Sometimes they just don't have the creativity to write something original in their space, so they just take lyrics and throw 'em out there. Simply, really.

Though sometimes when a trend appears it does get on your nerves...ever got annoyed how everyone kept quoting 'Tik Tok' lyrics last time? Yeah. I don't care if you woke up feeling like that Diddy fellow, and I don't care for your taste in people who look like Mick Jagger.

Honestly I see it as people just trying their best to come off as subtle or something...but really, quoting sappy love songs is about as subtle as answering a Maths question. Once in awhile everyone does this but if more than half your blog or Facebook page consists of song lyrics, you really need to start re-evaluating your thought process.

Yellow Telephone Theory #1: Last Call on Hold?

2010-08-18T23:42:00.000+08:00

And so theory number 1 goes that the phone is in fact haunted. They say that a long time ago, when the phone was functional and actually charged to someone's bill, a girl tried to use the phone. She had suddenly realised on the school's Photoshoot day that not only did she not do her hair nicely, she had mismatched nail polish and a few extra hairs on her eyebrows!

In panic (and flat broke) she ran to the yellow phone to book an emergency appointment with her personal stylist from Russia. Unfortunately, due to her eating habits (that is to say, her habit of not eating anything - she thought she was fat) she collapsed while dialling the number, too tired and without nutrients. Then she died.

So the phone was forever cursed with the blood of a dying, anorexic, overly self-conscious girl. No, she didn't have long hair obscuring her face and neither was she dressed in all white, but it's scary enough, isn't it?

The school hushed it up of course. They didn't want anyone using the phone (doesn't make sense, but that's the school for you...) so eventually the company cut off the phone's services. Technically no one should be able to make a call. Ah, but it's haunted you see...

Over time most people forgot about the story and one day they started trying the phone again. To their surprise, of course, it worked quite fine - the spirit of the girl haunting the phone was keeping the phone's line alive in the hopes of completing her one final call.

For every call you make on that phone, the girl will - actually, do nothing. Come on, she was anorexic. A rather benign ghost, and somewhat beneficial as you can see. But tormented nonetheless...

They say to set her free you have to complete her one final call. That's all she needs. Just finish punching in the numbers she tried to over 10 years ago. It'd mean you can't use the phone anymore though, so maybe you'll just want to leave some food there during Hungry Ghost month. Maybe she finally worked up an appetite (being dead does that to you).

Rumour goes that sometimes late at night if you pass by there you'll see this thin, shimmering shadowy figure trying desperately to pick up the phone and dial...but a few numbers short and it falters, wailing loud in the process - before it disappears momentarily only to re-form and try again...

Youth Olympic Games Opening Ceremony

2010-08-15T17:56:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I Wonder If There's Such a Thing as Reform

2010-08-09T18:25:00.001+08:00

And wouldn't you? Looking at the state of things, there's not going to be a big shift in the country any time soon. There are still so many people (less now, granted, but still) who are bigoted, racist, ignorant, short-sighted and corrupt in Malaysia. We have Perkasa and it's Stone Age mentality, we have our mockery of a justice system where proper evidence is blocked, where important cases are thrown out and where baseless ones are dragged on. We have politicians and a Prime Minister throwing money out left right and centre. We have fools who think that by maintaining the status quo, we can somehow become a first-world country. Really?

So many idiots still living in the older days. During Mahathir's time, at least, one could say we were making some sort of economic headway - we were an economic 'tiger' of Asia, if I'm not mistaken. Now we're behind so many other South East Asian countries, yet some people still want to describe us as progressive and forward-moving.

Our FDI plunged recently, like an overloaded bus does over a sharp turn on a cliff. Tell me, what foreigners would want to invest in a country where the best cannot get the jobs, where the brightest cannot get educated and where the criminals do not get locked up?

It's not that we need to make many life-shaking changes. Fire everyone in the police force, implement a new system of selection and promotion then pick the best. Throw out our AG and IGP and get better ones. Sack all our judges and re-select them. Kick out the directors of our universities and bring in the real academicians. Same goes for the EC and MACC. Dissolve, kick out, pick new people and re-form. Slash racial-based affirmative action and replace it with economically-based ones. Turn NS into real military training, or scrap it altogether. You can't foster racial harmony in 3 months after 17 years of bigotry. Trash racial quotas for scholarships. In fact, trash overseas scholarships altogether and work with the private sector to make good with the universities we already have.

Anwar could do all these if he became PM. But would he? This brings us back to my initial point. Even if he wanted to, even if lots of people wanted it, could he? Or is there a large enough minority of bigoted racist bastards who want to keep their dirty money and their connections who will attack and sabotage him at every turn? When you have people like Ibrahim Ali constantly making a hoot out of nothing, or 'warriors' like Ahmad Ismail (not to mention an entire UMNO division loyal to him) you really start to wonder whether reform can happen. Anwar's no savior. He has no magic wand to wave to set things right instantly.

In fact, you could say that having a limited mandate could be Anwar's biggest stumbling block were he to become PM. It certainly was Abdullah's. At his heart he is a politician, not a reformist, not a revolutionary leader. I mentioned before how we should side with Pakatan even if Anwar is not wholly sincere, because he at least is making the offers we want to hear and he knows he is accountable to us. But 'us' covers a wide scope - the fair and the less than so all fall under this term. Hence, the politician in Anwar - in all politicians, in fact - will fight to survive. He will want to maintain his political career. That means pleasing the people, that means taking populist measure sometimes, if not most of the time. It means doing what people like, even if it's bad for them. And it is this problem that may prove the end of our reform - the minority of people who pull their children closer when Indian men walk by, the people who torch churches, the people who kick around cow heads and the people who scream for quotas and special discounts for their race.

For the reforms to be done, Anwar will have to do unpopular things. Though overall there may be more people for the reforms than against, a loud minority can do a lot to bring someone down. For Anwar to do what he says he will do, he may have to risk being the shortest-serving PM we will have. But if he does so, then maybe one day we'll remember him better. In the US, many Presidents who were considered rather unpopular during their time have been left good reputations in history.

The question is, will Anwar be the same?

Happy Birthday, Scouts

2010-08-01T20:29:00.000+08:00

Scouting Sunrise 2007, Hylands Park, Volcano Subcamp.

3 years and counting...

Quran Burners and Young Imams

2010-07-31T23:17:00.002+08:00

http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/07/29/florida.burn.quran.day/index.html?hpt=C2

"In protest of what it calls a religion "of the devil," a nondenominational church in Gainesville, Florida, plans to host an "International Burn a Quran Day" on the ninth anniversary of the September 11, 2001, attacks.

...

"We believe that Islam is of the devil, that it's causing billions of people to go to hell, it is a deceptive religion, it is a violent religion and that is proven many, many times," Pastor Terry Jones told CNN's Rick Sanchez earlier this week.

...

"I mean ask yourself, have you ever really seen a really happy Muslim? As they're on the way to Mecca? As they gather together in the mosque on the floor? Does it look like a real religion of joy?" Jones asks in one of his YouTube posts."

And then compare it to this:

http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/showbiz/article/talent-show-picks-26-year-old-as-top-young-imam/

"A 26-year-old scholar was late yesterday named winner of a hugely popular Malaysian TV talent show search for a top young Islamic leader which has gained worldwide attention.

...

“When we talk about imams, the first impression is always someone who is old-fashioned or just does his work in the mosque,” Adam Riyadz, a 21-year-old journalism student, told AFP on the sidelines of the show.

“But with this show, it is easier for me to relate to what the young imams are trying to tell us,” said Adam, who travelled for two hours from another state to watch the finale with five fellow students."

Who's the extremist now?

(Screw you, Blogger. I wrote a damn nice post ranting on the idiocy of the first article and you damn went and screwed up my publish request and subsequently lost my post. Damn you. Stupid Save function, why the hell didn't you work? Are you censoring me? And Google you have let me down, how dare you let this happen.)

I'd rewrite everything but it's a real pain right now so for simplicity's sake I'll summarise:

- Essentially, I'm real pissed off about this. People slamming Islam so broadly, claiming it leads all these people to hell.

- RPK once said the problem isn't the religion, it's the followers. Flawed, imperfect humans as we are, we distort all these things and put our own damn stamp on it.

- What about my friends who are Muslim? They've done so many nice things for me, are they going to hell too, Pastor Terry Jones?

- P.S. If you come to my school to speak I shall walk out the hall and call others with me, most prominently the (fairer than you) Muslims in the school.

- And then officially write to my principal to complain (I doubt they'd ever invite you though).

- If you want to say that just because someone is affiliated to something, that it makes it responsible for the person, why not blame Malaysia just because someone from there does something wrong elsewhere? Say that the environment or whatnot caused it.

- Sometimes it's true, granted, that these things affect people. People in poverty or squalor may turn to crime. But to say that all people living in poverty are criminals and robbers is downright stupid.

- You want to blame Islam for terrorists and violence? Hitler was a Christian. A Christian with very different views of course (they don't normally kill Jews do they) but then again remember what I said about people interpreting things and distorting them how they like.

- Christian friends, you know I'm not bashing your religion. I'm bashing the followers of your religion (well some of them), and not because they're from your religion. That's the difference. You agree with me?

Who's the extremist now?

DU Files: Big Yellow Telephone

2010-07-29T21:16:00.000+08:00

OK, now this is honestly a true story. Not much of a story really, more like a cool little fact you may be able to make use of some time.

You know that yellow phone outside the office at school? The one that for some reason you can just pick up and use without paying anything...

No one really gets how it works. I remember a conversation with a teacher about how they have no idea how it's paid for and whether they'll suddenly get billed a whole lot of money for it. So I believe they taped it up so students couldn't use it.

Well you can. Last I checked (some time ago admittedly) you could make out the numbers on the tape.

So try this: call your hand phone. (I'm assuming you brought it to school...if not, miss-call your phone and check when you get home). Then save that number it calls you by. Now, you can actually call that yellow phone!

Yes, I'm not kidding. Thing is, when you call the yellow phone it won't ring, (because there isn't a speaker on it...) but if someone picks it up, you can talk to them. Cool eh???

Now, don't question how on earth I know this...let's just say I had some free time when I was back there.

I always dreamed of pranking a junior with this during some scout camp...send them on an errand to answer a yellow phone outside the office, alone, at night...and then call them and scare the crap out of them. Someone please try it for my sake.

Ah, but this doesn't answer why and how there's a phone there...and how it works. Next post...

To the SMK Damansara Utama Prefect Board of 10/11

2010-07-22T23:34:00.000+08:00

So I heard recently that the prefects down at SMKDU have stepped up to take over their seniors (who are no doubt currently busting their heads over SPM - don't, guys). So, congrats.

I'm actually much too tired and busy to really expose more conspiracies and factions and whatnot, so fortunately for you all, no theories this year about how the new Head Prefect got in by splitting the votes of the opposition camp, getting into the teachers' good books and promising crooked bridges and other things.

I suppose I could tell you all about the security guard's nefarious plan to install sleeper agent prefects into the Board to slowly turn the school into a military state. Or about the secret golden toilet in the secret passageways of Pn. Norsham's mysterious office. Or about the late-night calls you can answer at the yellow phone booth outside the Office. Or about the legendary frog that escaped a Biology dissection class back in 1995.

But those are for another time, maybe. OK, I'm doing this partially so I'll have things to write about next time.

Honestly though, best of luck to you new prefects taking over. Don't abuse your power. Don't boss people around. But have fun, of course. Take longer recesses, maybe.

Oh, don't cheat in exams. It's just not worth it, especially if you're not smart enough to pull it off. And it you were, chances are you don't need to cheat anyway. No hiding books under your chair or visiting the toilets for answers.

Well, that's about it for now. Make the year a good one, or I'll write stuff about you.

DU Files: One Day at the Chemistry Lab

2010-07-16T23:37:00.001+08:00

Damansara Utama, July 2010 - Two years ago, a chemical accident in SMK Damansara Utama resulted in the closure of one of its Chemistry laboratories.

The accident was said to have occurred some time between 10 and 11 am, when a Form 4 class was having their Chemistry Lesson in Lab 9.75. The experiment, as verified by authorities, involved copper nitrate (pictured above) and a variety of solutions including Millon's reagent, iced Milo and - most significantly - dihydrogen monoxide.

Dihydrogen monoxide, long known for its many toxic qualities, was used by the students in testing the precipitation constant of the reduced copper nitrate, which was then titrated against iced Milo to establish the it's acidity on the Miloic scale of positive hydrogen ionity.

While dihydrogen monoxide is used occasionally in school laboratories, it usually only used in small concentrations, and even then only in a gas chamber. Students also usually wear a full set of protective gear, including goggles, laboratory coats and gloves.

How did this accident happen?

Preliminary findings show that the students were using the dangerous chemical in its pure, undiluted form. Furthermore, the students had no protective gear on, and neither did they employ the use of a gas chamber for their experiment.

"It's beyond belief," said a Health Ministry official (second picture) "that a school of this calibre would be so careless as to allow their students to use such a chemical without the proper procedures or precautions."

During the experiment, one of the students noticed a strange bubbling followed by a horrible smell coming from one of the beakers in which the solutions were mixed. The teacher on duty ordered them out, and within hours Health Ministry officials had arrived at the school to rope off and sanitise the place.

"It's an incredibly risky chemical to use, dihydrogen monoxide," explained a WHO official who was sent to monitor the incident. "It's colourless, odourless and tasteless, just like water, and hence it can appear very innocuous and safe to students. Mixing it with copper nitrate at such high concentrations is suicidal."

The laboratory was promptly given the full-sanitising treatment, and thereafter shut down. However, the school still suffered exposure to the nauseous fumes given out by the reacting dihydrogen monoxide, and many students reported various symptoms of DHMO poisoning in the subsequent weeks. Some students were even affected a number of months after the event, with a few complaining of persistent acne compounded with a decrease in their examination results.

Students began wearing masks to school, with some transferring out of DU altogether.

Two years on, the situation has barely improved.

Many still-wary students continue to wear masks to school (pictured above) in the fear that acne and back test scores will plague them. Indeed, many students still file reports of sudden, unexplained diseases which cannot be attributed to the school canteen (which has won many awards and accolades for cleanliness and quality). The laboratory and the few classrooms adjacent to it have been roped off and remain off-limits to students to this day.

School administrators called it the "worst accident since Chernobyl" but remarked that it would "not stop the school from pursuing its agenda of excellence".

The students that form SMKDU, however, are forever reminded of the fearful chemical now known to them as dihydrogen monoxide.

A Great Way to Perk Up Your Day

2010-07-05T19:35:00.000+08:00

http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/asiapcf/07/02/friends.china.central.perk/index.html?hpt=Sbin

How to 'perk' up your day? Visit Central Perk, home of American sitcom Friends...in Beijing.

It's pure genius, and a brilliant business idea to boot.

Now if only someone would build a Platform 9 3/4 at our local train stations...

Bing! We have a winner...

2010-07-04T16:47:00.001+08:00

http://www.techradar.com/news/internet/bing-is-stupid-and-rubbish-says-bing-699549

Well Google doesn't seem to think much of itself either, but at the very least you get funnier results. Verdict? Google gives you better search results. And Bing is hence a horrible insult to my favourite character on Friends.

I Have a Dream...

2010-07-01T15:10:00.001+08:00

I had a dream...last night, as I was mulling over literary metaphors and imagery. I had a dream...of tacos and Subway Melts at first, but then it was a different dream. I had a dream that one day, geniuses with H1N1 masks and head-to-table-prone girls would be able to get together and have a few children. That dream has come half true (still waiting for the other half, you two).

But anyway down to the serious business. Like a few things I post up here once in a while, my previous post has someone less than happy about it. If you read the Cbox =>

Then you'll see the argument. I won't post it here. But I am bracing myself for potential trouble when I get back to school on Tuesday...who knows, they might all come at me pitchforks-a-blazing.

Kidding, kidding.

So in light (well pretty cloudy light actually...it's raining here) of this incident, here's another (I hear you groan) long long post to settle the matter.

NEWSFLASH

As I typed this, they apparently reconciled themselves in the Cbox =>

But I'll keep going anyway.

Firstly, my intention in putting up the previous post was:

1. I think RPK is awesome most of the time.

2. I think the article made a very good point.

No, not on the rights of homosexuals to do as they please, but rather the argument that writings like the Bible should not be taken to be unchanging forever. While perhaps the main spirit and pillars of the writings will stand, the specifics will not. Something that's perhaps an extreme sin (like, say, murdering) will probably always remain a sin. But the punishment can change, you see? In olden times the punishment may have been stoning to death (just an example here). But can you imagine a bunch of people stoning someone to death now? No. We have a justice system, and execution methods that are more...humane, let's say.

So Mr. Kauffman was not ridiculing the Bible, or Christianity. Not as I read it. He was simply trying to discredit the argument that you can something is wrong because a literal reading of the Bible says it is. To that end he pointed out that following that logic, you could say that the Bible condones many other things that we now consider to be wrong or immoral. Hence the argument that times change and that our rules change with it. The Bible was written...I dunno how many years ago. Many, probably.

And yes Dr. Laura supposedly denies ever making that statement. But that doesn't concern me. I didn't post this up to bash her. Frankly it could be Mr. Jack arguing with Dr. Jill, I don't really care. I looked at the argument.

It's likely a fact that those verses he quoted are true. I can tell you that non-Christians mostly do not have the time to go look up verses like that. Either he's a Christian or he's studied Christianity, and either way it puts him beyond a typical cynical guy on the street who argues blindly. So he pointed out that those verses exist. That's not slamming the religion. Not at all. He's saying, "Look, there are parts in these writings that we no longer approve of. If we followed everything to the letter like what you're doing, then we'd be condoning incest etc. So while homosexuality may still be considered wrong by the majority, and perhaps rightly so, using a literal interpretation of the writings in its original context is not a good way to support that argument."

Hope this clears anything up...knowing you too, you will probably never see eye to eye on this issue, so I suggest just not arguing about it further. Just like how Han Xern and I stopped arguing about Taylor Swift a long time back and teamed up against Justin Bieber (right?).

If he doesn't reply to this then I'll know he doesn't read my posts properly and I'll be sad.

So, Victor, meet Esther. Esther, Victor.

So, why CAN'T people own Canadians?

2010-06-26T21:26:00.001+08:00

Taken from Malaysia Today: http://malaysia-today.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=32659&catid=20&Itemid=100087

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... end of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev. 24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,

James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia.

PS. It would be a dammed shame if I couldn’t own a Canadian.

Riddikulus! Poof Woman turns into Justin Bieber.

2010-06-23T23:48:00.001+08:00

Dan Radcliffe: I thought Justin Bieber was a woman

I always said that the Brits were awesome.

But really la, what's with this Justin Bieber guy? No offence to him but how on earth did he get so big. Honestly. I listened to 'One Time' one time and I thought it was a 10-year-old African-American kid (that would have been a good thing). So I thought, hey, quite cute what, sort of like what Michael Jackson would do when he was young (though MJ had a way better voice, and way better songs).

Then it turns out it's some 16-year-old white kid. I felt the same as when I found out the black guy singing 'Together Forever' was actually Rick Astley - white guy with no moves.

Now I'm not biased against the whites here. I mean Eminem is a fantastic rapper and in my opinion does better than so many blacks. But some people just can't pull it off. Rick Astley sings fine but try and watch his videos without cringing at the dancing, or lack thereof.

So Justin Bieber is a 16-year-old kid with ridiculous, girl-exploiting bangs and a voice that hasn't broken yet. Way to capture the screaming girl demographic. Come on, girls. Go back to David Archuleta, please. I'm sorry I ever mocked him. Bieber is Archuleta with a more childish voice and an even more boyish look. There's a limit. Imagine if Archuleta's voice un-broke and he took plastic surgery to look half-Jap and grew his hair like that. Then imagine him taking on an R&B song (or just imagine him singing Chris Brown's 'With You').

Yeah, that's what I thought too.

Of course if you like him then no problem. But I'll tell you just one time, that baby (well his voice anyway) is going to grow up one day and start growling. He will grow facial hair. Just ask yourself if you'd buy his album to ogle at when he's a gruff 40-something rock star complete with long(er) hair, beard and moustache. Maybe you won't. But then again maybe I will.

So my rankings of overrated artists stands as:

David Archuleta > Taylor Swift > Justin Bieber. Or rather, Harry Potter > Everything.

Will the real Malay entrepreneur please stand up… and walk.

2010-06-10T11:53:00.000+08:00

http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/will-the-real-malay-entrepreneur-please-stand-up...-and-walk/

An interesting, eye-opening article from The Malaysian Insider.

2010-05-26T21:27:00.000+08:00

http://the-leaky-cauldron.org/2010/5/24/first-photos-of-adult-harry-and-ginny-from-deathly-hallows-epilogue

The Epilogue.

!!!

Justin Jarret Comes Out of Closet

2010-05-22T23:38:00.000+08:00

Monday, May 17th, Malaysia - Blogger superstar Justin Jarret has publicly announced he is gay, following years of intense speculation and rumours. The famous web figure made the announcement on his blog: http://getspecific.blogspot.com/2010/05/az1.html

For years, Mr. Jarret had been rumoured to be a homosexual, with people pointing to everything from his slick hair-do to his Neil Patrick Harris-esque sense of humour. Up until his public announcement, Mr. Jarret refrained from commenting about his sexuality.

Reaction to his announcement has been mixed. Many of his loyal fans remain his followers, though a few have had unkind words for him. A large number of his female followers, however, are dismayed at 'losing a chance with [Justin]'. Wrote one upset fan,"Take Adam Lambert, even David Archuleta if you want, but not Justin Jarret! Nooo."

When asked why he had chosen to announce his sexual preferences at this time, Justin said that,"I wanted to turn the spotlight on these kind of issues. What with the Anwar Ibrahim Sodomy II case and everything, I thought this would be a good time to just...plunge into the middle of it all."

Incidentally, Saiful Bukhari Azlan, who was allegedly sodomised by Anwar, came from the same secondary school as Mr. Jarret.

"Oh, I'd like to meet him some day, sure,"said Justin sarcastically, when asked if he ever plans to meet Saiful.

The celebrity joins the ranks of famous gay men such as Elton John, Perez Hilton and George Michael. When asked which gay icon he looks up to, Mr. Jarret replied, "Spongebob."

People you see on Facebook, Part 1

2010-05-16T16:17:00.001+08:00

Disclaimer: Just to pre-empt any speculation from anybody, this post isn't targeted at anyone in particular (I'm nothing like those kind of people who are deliberately vague OK) because there are a lot of people who fit the description. If you're thinking it seems like this post pinpoints you a lot, then you probably fit the bill.

Today, I'm gonna talk about Facebook and blogging. Or rather, what you blog and Facebook about. Or rather, the kind of bloggers or Facebook users you see. If you'd care to do a quick search you'll see thing like this pop up on CNN or some other website from time to time.

So every few days I'll post up one type of person you encounter on a blog or Facebook. Starting with...

The Emo Kind

These are the people who consistently have something to be sad about. Either they have chronic depression or a serious need for attention. Usually their blog posts/Facebook posts:

1. Talk to some "mysterious" person who usually "knows who [they] are".

2. Rant about how their lives suck in general.

3. Talk about how they're missing someone.

The very annoying part about all this is that these people just about never name who the hell they're talking about (care to count how many times you've read the words 'you know who you are'?) in some sort of desperate bid to look subtle and mysterious. Needless to say they fail spectacularly. It gets 50% less annoying when you actually talk openly about it.

These people should seriously realise that if they don't want people to know what they're talking about, they shouldn't mention it in the first place. If it's meant only for certain people to see, don't put it up publicly on Facebook or a blog. The ones who don't want to know what they're talking about don't care, and the ones who do deserve more than vague 'subtle' messages.

Once again, no particular person I'm talking about here, seen so many people do it anyway. To some degree everyone may be guilty of this now and again but the compulsive emo people really need to put a lid on it. Or get help.

2010-05-13T18:30:00.001+08:00

In commemoration of May 13, 1969.

Because not everything's in black and white.

A Guide to Facebook Safety for DUrians

2010-05-10T16:48:00.001+08:00

So DUrians have been warned that the school shall keep tabs on them online. That means primarily Facebook of course, since it's about the only thing the school can find easily (blogs and other things may be a little too challenging for them).

Now I know what you're thinking. A bunch of nearly-retired teachers trying to track you online? Laughable you say but don't be fooled. Pn. Norsham is not to be underestimated. Just try strolling into the office and you will probably see the likes of Pn. Chia and En. Ismail surfing Facebook for anti-establishment postings.

But I'm sure that as every person knows, Facebook is just about as useless as an empty can of sardines you can't open for lack of a can opener more advanced than a rock and a scissors wrapped in paper, when you try to look at someone's account without one yourself. So for them to track you, they:

1. must be friends with you.

2. must know people who are friends with you.

3. must have l33t hacking skills.

4. must be Mark Zuckerberg.

So be on guard. If any teachers want to add you as a friend...just be a little careful. Got any friends who are a little too friendly with the admins? Be careful. Know any teachers with l33t hacking skills? (coughIsmailcough) Be careful. As for them being Mark Zuckerberg, well...what can you do. Maybe Friendster looks more attractive now.

Hence I shall teach you some invaluable tips on Facebook privacy. This is as of 26th April 2010.

1. Go to the Account tab in the top right-hand corner and click on Privacy Settings.

2. Click Search, where you'll be able to determine if your profile shows up on Facebook's search app or other search engines like Google. Now the admins can't find you if they don't already know anyone who does.

3. Click Profile information to control your profile settings. Now you can determine who can post on your Wall, who can see what your friends post on your Wall, or who can see what you post on your Wall yourself. Try to keep it to just friends.

Though, if you've added people in school you don't know particularly well (which many people annoyingly do) then be wary. Anyway, you can also create a specific list of people who can see all these things by selecting 'Customise' instead of 'Friends' or 'Friends of friends' or something. So block out the people you don't trust enough or don't know well. And they won't realise it.

4. Same goes for photo albums and photos and tags. All controlled at that tab. Had an illegal kokurikulum meeting at school? Keep it under wraps.

5. Just about everything else is under Privacy Settings or at least under the Account tab. Look around a little. Remember, keep your account secure...don't want to be hauled up during assembly, do you?

Disclaimer: I am in no way implying that the administrators of SMK Damansara Utama are regulating, policing or monitoring the online activities of its students. I am not implying that they run regular checks on online sites such as Facebook or Twitter, nor am I suggesting that there are students themselves who are involved in carrying out these checks. This guide is simply a handy info-manual on helping students (DUrians, in particular) keep their online availability in check so as to safeguard their security and image for their futures. Thank you.

Auditory Daydreams

2010-05-06T20:26:00.001+08:00

Let me tell you about this man. A few years back he put on some Bluetooth earphones as he was sitting on a bus.

Then an explosion. Fire and chaos and he fell out of consciousness. In his ears he heard music but in his head he heard nothing.

Interlude. But a dark black one with no sounds, like Beethoven listening to his own compositions.

And then the music came back. In a hospital bed.

Wondering where his music player was he reached out, to switch tracks. Not finding it, he reached at his ears to take our the earphones, wondering why they were still there.

They weren't. Not outside the ear. But inside.

And so came about the hero Audiohead, the man with the ability to listen to music in his head...without external music devices!

Utilising his vast arsenal of songs, Audiohead heightens his senses and amplifies his abilities with music! Rock songs boost his muscle mass and strengths, leaving unsuspecting thugs no match for the mighty hero! Can't put a baby to sleep? Fret not. With a masterfully selected collection of lullabies, Audiohead's voice takes on a magically lulling quality!

Listening to powerful, inspirational songs, the great hero has the ability to inspire anybody with emotionally stirring and potent motivational speeches. Depression and low morale are no match in the face of this super-being.

Over the years, Audiohead's abilities have only advanced. He has learned to access music beyond his original mp3 player - Audiohead can now access Youtube and iTunes in addition to any music collection nearby. Vinyl recordings and old tapes prove no challenge for his magnificent Bluetooth-surpassing mental technology!

All you criminals out there, all you thugs, all you villains, beware...Audiohead's listening.

On freedom of religion

2010-05-03T18:01:00.002+08:00

As some of you may have noticed, I have taken down the CF-related post. I removed it a few days back after getting an email explaining to me the trouble the post was causing and the possible repercussions should the school authorities (and by that I mean only certain teachers) find out.

First, I would like to say, that I am regretful if anybody at all has gotten into any trouble over what I have said. This is probably the first time I've written something that involves an ongoing big issue at the school so obviously any missteps could land some people in trouble. The DU CF is in no way affiliated with me and whatever I write is my opinion alone and not theirs. Whoever I 'quoted', I did not actually quote...this blog is semi-satirical and not to be taken seriously at times.

Second, I would like to condemn the actions of the school authorities in disallowing the CF from having their morning prayers. They do so quietly, away from the general student population, and are hence a disturbance to nobody. Article 11 of the Constitution of Malaysia states that we are all free to profess and practise our own religions, though Islam is the official religion of the country. Not allowing the CF to have their morning prayers therefore goes against the Constitution and is wrong. I do understand the school's concern where outsiders not related to the CF were distributing Bibles as propagation of one's religion among Muslims is restricted, however, they were not related to the school CF, which has never tried to impose their religion on anybody in the student population before.

Third, I would like to express my great dissatisfaction with the school for creating an environment that has restricted freedom of expression. Although the school no longer has jurisdiction over me (I being out of there), I did eventually take down the post because of what the school is doing. Monitoring what students say, checking up on them. Because I feared some students would get into trouble, I took down the post. Because some students feared that relations between the school and the CF would be strained further, I was asked to take down the post.

It is this environment of fear that the school is creating that limits what we say and what we do. Of course, I understand the importance of taking action against people who slander and libel. So many teenagers these days rattle their mouths off condemning teachers with a vocabulary of obscenities I can only describe as diverse and colourful. Many, without pausing to think of the other side of the story or the fact that many teachers are simply doing their jobs. And of course it is only natural for a school to safeguard its reputation and make sure students are not airing the school's troubles to the rest of the world. This is understandable. But when the things like these happen, when so many people disagree with it...there is bound to be some backlash. And students will have arguments to present. They should be allowed to do so, in a constructive manner.

Today is World Press Freedom Day. And in conjunction with that, I am writing this. I am presenting serious arguments and I am writing properly for once. No inside jokes, no fun-poking at the school. No fooling around with puns anymore. Today I'm saying what I want to say and I don't intend to take this post down.

Therefore; fourth, I would like to say that my support lies entirely with the DU CF, despite not being affiliated in any way whatsoever with them. It is their constitutional right to pray - not publicly or in front of the school perhaps, but certainly amongst themselves, silently, in a quiet, inconspicuous corner of the school. To not allow them to do so is unconstitutional and ridiculous.

Fifth, I will also look at the school's side of things. Certainly, a group of people distributing Bibles outside the school is indeed worrisome, given the school is a government one and has a large population of Muslims. The distributors of the Bibles were in my opinion rather unwise to be carrying out their activities in a school, rather than a more acceptable place. And their actions have caused this whole mess. The school should definitely be worried about these people approaching Muslims - after all, it isn't allowed for too. Whether or not that should be the case is another matter; the school has to stick to the official stand, so there is no question of it. I understand Pn. Norsham, the Pengetua, has to be worried - imagine the consequences, what trouble she herself might face, if some of her Malay students were somehow converted, unlikely as it is?

But her reaction in my opinion is still unwarranted. I am in complete disagreement with the actions taken so far, though I am glad that the CF is not in any way in danger of being banned and disbanded. I hereby suggest and demand that the CF be allowed once again to conduct their morning prayers. The school says it is worried that other students may be upset by this display of religion. Yet they have the Doa Pagi read out every day. I have nothing against that. I do not mind the Doa Pagi. It is a government school after all. But to cite concerns over the feelings of students over public displays of religion is ludicrous when they do not apply the same standards to themselves. Double standards are prevalent these days it seems.

Should you have any problems with this post of mine, please, comment. If you are a school administrator and you feel that I have missed something, please feel free to add in your own points in the comments below. If you represent the school and are upset with what I have written, take it up with me and do not let this affect the CF in any way, as I have no links with them.

Thank you.

Screw you, BN. Hulu Selangor people, you are just so CLEVER.

2010-04-25T21:21:00.001+08:00

Long post, I apologise. Read it or don't if you want, comments are more than welcome. But I have to get it out. People need to know.

That's right. Early unofficial results have BN leading with a 2000 or so majority in votes. And it's seriously pissing me off. Pardon the crude language, but honestly.

BN, screw you. You lying, cheating cowards. Go dunk your head in your large tanks of beer you UMNO hypocrites, go generously pay off the EC chairman for helping you screw up the voting locations of thousands of people, go blatantly throw more money at poor FELDA people and promise them the sky when all you'll give them is chicken shit.

Or pig shit, knowing you people. Go to hell for personally attacking your opposing candidate rather than fight like men. You hit below the belt because you know you don't have any [censored] for the opposition to hit back at.

I swear, you bunch of racist thugs - you are going to hell come next election. And you better hold it late because I want to bloody vote in that election and kick your ass of your seats in Putrajaya.

And you, Hulu Selangor people. ~~What gives. What the hell. Are you that utterly~~ ~~stupid~~~~, so badly endowed in the intellectual department that you would choose a high-profile national-level leader over an unknown, fumbling compromise candidate?~~

No offence to Kamalanathan who seems a nice enough man but how on earth can you think he is better than Zaid? Oh you don't want a candidate who drank alcohol is it? Then you've been scammed all these years you geniuses, you think your UMNO people don't down a few mugs before meeting some government agency leader to put cash in his hand?

Okay, let me be fair. Maybe you're more cunning than I think. Maybe you're taking the money, taking the promises of development, letting BN win and keep the constituency for the next two to three years. Let them develop your area the next few years then let the opposition take it back next general elections. Is that it? Smart move, I admit. Of course, that's assuming BN will actually remember you people the day after. Oh and let's not forget the kind of damage you've done by letting Zaid Ibrahim lose to a political featherweight you've never heard of before.

Alright, granted. It's been more than 15 minutes I've been typing this so I've cooled down a little. You rakyat of Hulu Selangor are smart. BN has to fulfil its promises in the next two years or so because it's close to the general elections. If they don't, protest and vote for Pakatan. If they do, still vote for Pakatan. Is it? But still, it's frustrating...the ignorance of the FELDA people, who have never known any better, the unreliability of the young people who didn't come back to vote, who didn't tell their folks to vote right. The narrow-minded conservatives who cannot forgive Zaid for consuming some alcohol years and years ago.

Obama himself went through rough patches, did wrong things. Took drugs, even, but he admitted his failure, put it behind him and became the President of the US. You have a Prime Minister-calibre man and you do this to him because at some point in time there was alcohol in his body.

Another party to blame...PKR. PKR I'm sorry, but you're the weakest link in Pakatan. You lack the strong ideology holding PAS together and the consistency of the DAP. You're full of Anwar loyalists and money loyalists. Most are UMNO people who were loyal to Anwar when he was DPM. That's right, to Anwar and not to justice or all the hooey. At their heart they are still UMNO people and now these sleeper agents are cropping up everywhere and defecting and screwing the party up.

For the party whose leader is to be Prime Minister, it's awfully weak. Anwar, you really have to stand up. Kick out everyone who shouldn't be there. Take in the good ones. Take in more Zaid Ibrahims and less Zulkifli Noordins and party-hopping frogs whose only allegiance is to cold hard cash.

Conclusion?

Hulu Selangor people, I can find it in me to forgive you. But don't expect me to be happy with this. Pakatan deserves to be reminded who the real bosses are, but not at the cost of giving BN the win. In the long run this by-election's going to cause a lot of problems. I will probably come back tomorrow and see Najib's gleeful face in the online news, just euphoric. And that will be annoying.

BN...Hulu Selangor people are scamming you. Take that.

Pakatan...buck up. Or else you'll lose.

Honestly I think it's time we had some independent politicians...not the defecting BN-friendly type but true third forces. And not Ibrahim Ali with his Perkasa either.

Why is Justin Jarret so darn Popular?

2010-04-22T13:26:00.002+08:00

1. You mean, besides his rugged good Indian looks?
You just can't compete with someone people call 'Mr. Bachchan' by mistake.

2. You mean, besides his witty Wing Chun-punchy lines?

"That was a real blow to my already fragile hanging-by-a-string self-esteem.In one day I had fallen under the same category as the bogeyman, things that go bump in the dark and Freddy Krueger."

May I say that he was, actually, already something that goes bump in the dark. Refer to point 3.

3. You mean, besides his killer ability to blend seamlessly into the night, like a black leopard hunting in the Savanna after dusk?
Playing ninja has never been this easy.

4. You mean, besides the fact that he's from Kedah?
And you wondered why there's so much rice in Selangor all of a sudden.

5. You mean, besides the fact that he entered SMKDU from a Kolej?
And you thought SPM was for losers. Secondary girls dig older mature Kolej guys.

6. You mean, besides his burning patriotic spirit?
Where do you think his 'black leopard' advantage came from?

7. You mean, besides his unapologetic disapproval of all things Twilight?
Except for the black vampire in it, of course.

8. You mean, besides his hit single-inspiring Poker Face?
Don't go GaGa over him, now.

9. You mean, besides the fact that Obama phoned him before he phoned Najib? (and for an hour longer, too)
It's good to have some coins handy when a politician's looking for change.

Yeah, besides all that.

Han Xern sues blog over misinformation

2010-04-20T21:13:00.001+08:00

Khoo Han Xern, the Star of SMK Damansara Utama, has sued a blog over misinformation.

The lawsuit involves a line in his valedictorian speech post which reads:

"And, uh, thank you MPH for being my emotional refuge. And Sasbadi, that heavenly body that makes spectacular Biology reference books possible."

Han Xern has challenged the line, saying he never once said the word "Sasbadi" in his speech.

"I only use Pelangi books. Pelangi," said Han Xern. "This post has done irreversible damage to my image and reputation and it endangers my endorsement venture with Pelangi as well. I demand the post be corrected and compensation be paid."

The owner of the blog could not be reached for comment.

Woman, child mistakes Justin Jarret for "Scary Indian Man"

2010-04-18T10:22:00.001+08:00

Source: http://getspecific.blogspot.com/2010/04/object-of-fear.html

Damansara Utama, Wednesday - A mother and her child mistook Justin Jarret, world-renowned blogger and champion of social justice, for a 'scary Indian man'.

The mother apparently did not recognise Mr. Jarret, whose popularity in the blogosphere is second only to Tun Dr. Mahathir and Raja Petra. According to Mr. Jarret, he was savouring a cup of coffee in a local kopitiam when the woman's child started to make noises. The woman then attempted to silence the child, to which the boy simply responded 'Ladidadida'.

The woman then pointed at Mr. Jarret and proclaimed that if the boy did not keep quiet, the "scary Indian man over there will come and take [him] away".

The boy clamped up immediately.

The woman has been widely ridiculed after Mr. Jarret posted this anecdote on his ever popular blog. One anonymous comment read: "Stupid woman, she probably wouldn't recognise Abdullah Badawi if he dozed off right in front of her".

The No.3 Blogger is understandably upset over the incident. He said,"Of course it's upsetting to be called "scary", which sadly, a few girls have done in the past, but the real kicker is that the woman had to emphasise the word 'Indian' in her sentence".

"Saying 'scary man' and 'scary Indian man' bring about two completely different implications. It's like she said I was scary because I'm Indian."

Beneath the story lies the sad truth that Malaysia may not be the truly integrated multicultural society it claims to be. However, Mr. Justin Jarret remains optimistic and says he has been inspired to spread true unity after the what he has been through.

"I have a dream that one day my four little children will live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin, but by the content of their character, that they will be able to sit in kopitiams and savour coffee without being referred to as scary," quips Justin Jarret.

"Till that day comes, I'll be getting specific," adds Justin.

"I'd Like To Thank The Academy..."

2010-04-12T22:36:00.004+08:00

by Khoo Han Xern

Well it's that time of year again. Awards day. Oh y'know, that day where I go up on stage, take myself some prizes and dish out some sweaty handshakes and take pictures. That's today, in fact. But today's special because today I get to add to the usual awards (oh you know, same old same old - top in Bio Chem Physics Moral BM English Agama Accounts Maths Add Maths History Geography Transfiguration just to name a few) my prize trophy - top Student. Of All Time.

And Time only spanned the year 2009.

Uhm let's get on with the usual thank-you's and acknowledgements - parents teachers friends tuition teachers guidance counsellors...

Oh and not forgetting that special person in my life...good dog, Shadow. Always there to help me study.

And, uh, thank you MPH for being my emotional refuge. And ~~Sasbadi~~ Pelangi, that heavenly body that makes spectacular Biology reference books possible.

Thank you Hishamuddin Hussein. In past years your policies as Education Minister have elevated me.

And you too, Muhyiddin. Introducing the A+ grade has only made my already blinding ability shine even more. I didn't think you could polish a bright, burning star, but you did.

Special thanks to DotA, to which I owe my sanity during long nights of studying.

My most heartfelt appreciation goes out to my refrigerator, well-stocked Old Reliable thing that it is. For keeping my Brand's Essence of Chicken mixed with Red Bull stock icy cold and utterly delicious, you shall forever live on in this moment.

This is not the end. This is just the beginning. If you think this is the last time I'll be up here...hah! No way. I'll be back, year after year. Just watch and see.

So, ladies and gentlemen...thank you.

2010-04-04T21:42:00.001+08:00

Now you know why you liked Avatar so much. Who doesn't love a rehashed. re-told story?

James Cameron: Gee, I haven't written anything new in like a lifetime. The King o' the World's gettin' bored, here!

Tell you what, boys, let's take aim at...some Disney toon. Those were popular. Let's see, what can I stick some CGI and 3D to? Hmm...Lion King? No, CGI lions are disgusting.

Toy Story's already animated...

Oh I know! Poca hunt us! Yeap boys, let's go with that. Red Indians become blue aliens, ships become flying ships and let's just give old JS a metal prosthetic so they can't sue us eh? Slap on some CGI and shiny colours and this'll be a hit!

Aide: Wow sir...I wouldn't be surprised if this like, became the highest-grossing movie ever!

James Cameron: What, you kidding boy? Americans aren't that bad...

Malaysia, where anything is possible.

2010-03-28T23:11:00.000+08:00

Really, anything is possible in Malaysia.

You can be entangled in a very public sex scandal and get sacked from your (washed-out) old man's Chinese party and still come back less than a year later as the deputy president, no less. Oh, and with your fellow party members embracing your return with open arms. And if you're just a bit greedy and impatient, you can launch a war against your chief, the person you should be assisting, and bring him down by driving the party to a crisis and rendering your already irrelevant party even more useless than it already is.

And after that you can team up with a younger person who sounds weird doing Ministry of Health ads about H1N1 on the radio. Force some fresh elections and preach unity within the party and you're good to go.

Congratulations, Chua Soi Lek. You're now President of a party I couldn't care less about. Hats off to you.

You can't spell your name with a bunch of A's.

2010-03-24T23:24:00.000+08:00

Han Xern: "Top student for years and they STILL can't spell my name?"

So...National Service, Group 2, Series 7/2010

2010-03-18T20:01:00.000+08:00

Kem Geo Kosmo, Kuala Kubu Bharu, Selangor.

Where the hell is that? Is that a good campsite? Does it suck?

And the almighty Google answered...

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:

"Too Hui Min, 18, attached to Kem Geo Kosmo, Behrang, Selangor. Died on 7 May at Slim River Hospital, Perak, three days after she started complaining of constipation. The cause of death was later determined as being toxic megacolon - her colon had been swollen and the lining had thinned due to septicemia. Her death was the 16th National Service death, and was followed by several DAP leaders calling for the suspension or even the scrapping of the National Service programme"

'Nuff said.

So You Want Straight A+s?

2010-03-12T21:29:00.001+08:00

by Khoo Han Xern

Now, by now you will surely have heard about me getting - uh, what was it again? - straight A+s in my SPM.

Ah, no sweat.

But some of you want to know how I did it. So now I'm going to tell you, free of charge (and you know what else is free of charge? A neutron! Get it?). Because I got an A+ for Moral too, so I have to be nice here.

That's the first thing. Practise what you learn in real life. Don't just say Amanah, go out there and take some money from someone and keep it safe for a few weeks before returning it, all of it. Intact. Kesederhanaan. Buy M sizes for everything. S and L sizes are too keterlaluan.

As for Add Maths, well, what I do is drop a ball from about 5m in the air and then record the whole thing on video. Then I measure how high it bounces each time and I calculate the rate of change of the height of the bounce of the ball. Then I did some past year papers. So boring. I decided to go differentiate some things. Went to a friend's house and tried to tell apart his younger twin sisters.

BM? That's really easy. I just speak BM all day..."Lu cakap APA?", etc. And I read lots of Malay newspapers. I particularly like Utusan Malaysia. Lots of nice language and as a plus, many balanced, unbiased views on today's Malaysia.

English? Ah that's a real secret, that is. Let me tell you. Just read "War and Peace" (only 1300+ pages of size 9 print!) a few times. Let it sink in. Then read it again. When you can recite the story from start to end, complete with the Russian dialogue bits, then you're safe. Alternately, you could read the Epic of Gilgamesh or even Homer's Odyssey if you really want to get it down right.

And nothing confuses the modern man like Modern Maths. But don't worry. Just count sheep. A few hundred thousand will do. Late nights and caffeine are bonuses.

History is simple. For that I just recommend taking a few listens to Michael Jackson's HIStory. With everything from Independence, the Malayan Union and Rosli Dhobi, you'll be more than prepared to tackle questions about dead men who aren't supposed to tell tales.

Biology's my favourite. Obviously. All that's needed is dissection. Cut open everything. And I mean everything. Frogs, rabbits, Tasmanian devils, Sumatran rhinos, stillborn babies, Pokemon...

*sadistic laugh*

Moving on...

For Physics there are 2 proven methods. To be safe, I used both, even though I probably didn't need to.

First, watch an Albert Einstein documentary on Discovery. Got it? Then remember it. Burn it into your skull.

Then watch an old Superman movie. Pay close attention to the part where he flies around the Earth so fast that he reverses its rotation, and hence reverses time. Got it? Now purge that from your memory forever. Forget it. Never let it cross your mind again. Time doesn't turn around when the Earth does.

Second method. Go for Mr. Moay's tuition class. It makes for a smooooooooooooottthhh transition from total confusion to godlike comprehension. And keep answering his questions. Become his good friend.

Chemistry is another favourite. I find that buying some Hoko from the school canteen and placing it in a centrifuge is the best way to learn, not to mention an interesting method of discovering what's really in those drinks...

Accounts is like Maths without formulae. Honestly. Just sift through the audit files in the Bernie Madoff case and you're liberated. If you especially dislike balancing cheque books, I suggest you start by buying a few dozen of them and placing them squarely on your head. Keep it there a few minutes. If you're really confident try doing it under a fan.

If you're into Econs, just table an alternate Budget every time the government comes out with one. If they take your suggestions, chances are you're doing well.

What about Chinese? Going to the Motherland will free you. Come home when no dialect is foreign to you. A+ guaranteed.

Tamil? Well, knowing Samy Vellu helps...or at least it used to...

Bible Knowledge is the easiest. Just pray like hell - I mean, heaven. And don't eat tempting looking fruit.

Same goes for Agama Islam. Pray, but five times more. And no pork, ever. It's a proven fact that anyone who ate even the smallest piece of pork failed Agama. In that sense it's rather like Moral.

Well that's about it. For obvious reasons, I can't cover every single subject offered. Sorry, Bahasa Arab people, but you're on your own.

Look out for my valedictorian speech soon!

Khoo Han Xern.

March 8 and the Oscars

2010-03-08T19:30:00.000+08:00

First of all, March 8. Been two years already - that was fast. I didn't even remember till I saw it in the news. But March 8 isn't enough...hopefully in a few years the real tsunami happens.

And the Oscars. Avatar didn't win Best Picture. Awesome. It won all the awards it fairly deserves - visual effects and such. Though some people will once again talk about how the Grammy never picks big moneymaking, popular movies, films that don't deserve it shouldn't win. And hey, the nominations were a lot better this time. Many different movies making the cut, rather than just boring artsy slow films like in previous years. And Up won Best Animated Feature. Woohoo. Wanna bet Toy Story 3 will win next year's Best Animated Feature?

Our Day of Reckoning

2010-03-05T23:01:00.001+08:00

It's coming. You know?

Next Thursday is the culmination of 11 years of primary and secondary education.

Too hot to handle??

Come on. Why so serious?

There's nothing you can do. Your fate was sealed months ago. When you put that pen down on that last paper your marks were there waiting for you.

Now think to that day...what it'll be like.

Lights flashing. Oh wait. It's just the security guard flashing his torchlight at you. In broad daylight. Good ol' Frank.

You step in. That ridiculous countdown board is still there. Such an object of fear and trepidation, it used to be.

To the left the canteen stands. Noodles and soup? Nah. May have another cockroach in it.

Someone left the flags up. Honestly now. You go and pull it down slowly, singing Negaraku in reverse. You take it and fold it. Better send it to the office.

Up and up the flight of stairs. There's the glass door. You fear it? You used to it? Either way it's nothing now.

You walk in. Flash your thumbprint on the scanner for fun. Doesn't work. Then you type 'lol' on the computer.

Lol.

The flags go under a table. Now, time for the hall.

You hear a scream. Mayhem? Murder? Mystery...

You run down, the pull of gravity sucking on that extra 5kg you now have. Holidays and boredom and junk food. You really have let yourself go.

You reach the bottom. Oh. It's just a bunch of girls and a squirrel. How silly.

Pass the fish pond - they're still there. Phew.

Pass a bunch of guys, playing cards.

Another scream. What rodent, what pitchy girl this time?

Nah. Just an excited prefect. Are the results out yet? No. False alarm. You sigh and walk some more.

Ahh. Old scout den. New door you see. No flimsy matchbox door anymore.

To the classrooms. Form One til Five...

A teacher walks towards you. A slip means a 9.7 magnitude earthquake.

You answer a rhetorical question. Yes? No, wrong answer. Larger masses have larger momentums, you remember. Back away, back away...

Off to the teacher's room. Can you enter? Yes you can, in fact. But you may not.

Down to the labs you go. Locked.

You run in the field. Or what's left of it. What have they done to it? You're tired.

Sweat.

Suddenly you hear the PA sounding off. That old voice. You're supposed to go back up.

But wait, toilet first. On second thought, no thanks. Cameras and toilets do not go together.

You walk up. No, you run. The better to be the first.

Back in the hall. Some have taken their dues. Years of hard work in their hands. A prefect 'boogies'.

Post a picture up? You decide against it. For now.

People crying. Probably at the dancing.

You step forward. The teacher is smiling - like a welcoming relative or a shark?

Heart beating. Fast. Systolic, diastolic. Systolic, diastolic.

The paper's in your hands.

Biology - A

Chemistry - A

etcetera etcetera...until...

Pendidikan Islam - D

What?! You got a D...

Oh wait, you don't even take Agama.

Phew.

You're willing to bet more than 10 people get their string of A's. Clean strings.

And a B for yourself somewhere. BM sounds promising. Maybe Moral. Maybe History even.

When's independence again?

March 8, was it? No. Not yet.

You'll walk into the school again, next time. And next time to put a piece of paper into a box, and not receive one.

`cirque.

Where Are Our Priorities?

Bersih 2.0: A Film Review

Coming Soon

Father of Transformation?

The Shawshank Redemption

A Christian Takeover Conspiracy? Really?

BN retains Sarawak, two-thirds majority: Pakatan makes inroads

To That End We're Heading To

Stupidity Spreads Faster than Radiation

This is Our So-Called 'First Lady'

Inception

Blood Diamond

Haikus with Han: Tailor Swift

Haaave you met Utkarsh?

Parenting

Is Amy Chua a Monster, or Does She Just Believe In Her Kids?

Haaave you met Agrim?

Haaave you met Teng?

Haaave you met Anzari?

Han Xern meets Justin Jarret; Doomsday Narrowly Averted

The SPM Conspiracy

I've Tried To Talk About Facebook...

Zaid, What Are You Doing?

Not That Kind of Blackmail La

A Scout, A Teacher - and Blackmail

Justin Jarret Emerges, People Cheer

Nolan's Final Batman Film

How To Make A Movie

Haikus with Han: Martians

Haze, courtesy of Indonesia

Justin Jarret In Hiding?

Najib Delivers 'Spectacular' Budget, Draws Praise

Hate Speech

Someone's Late.

Haikus with Han: Shadow

Sometimes, You Have to Respect this Nazri Aziz fellow.

Haikus with Han: Delayed-Response Pool Talking

What A Malaysian Day Today

Haikus with Han: Stars, and Why They Twinkle

Whose God?

Merdeka Part 3

Merdeka Part 2

Celebrating 53 years of Independence (NOT Nationhood)

Teo Nie Ching, Ibrahim Ali and an Irish man walked into a mosque...

Soy Tu Aire (I actually don't know what this means though UPDATE: Apparently it means "I'm Your Air")

On Education

The [ ] Kind, Part 2

Yellow Telephone Theory #1: Last Call on Hold?

Youth Olympic Games Opening Ceremony

Sometimes I Wonder If There's Such a Thing as Reform

Happy Birthday, Scouts

Quran Burners and Young Imams

DU Files: Big Yellow Telephone

To the SMK Damansara Utama Prefect Board of 10/11

DU Files: One Day at the Chemistry Lab

A Great Way to Perk Up Your Day

Bing! We have a winner...

I Have a Dream...

So, why CAN'T people own Canadians?

Riddikulus! *Poof* Woman turns into Justin Bieber.

Will the real Malay entrepreneur please stand up… and walk.

Justin Jarret Comes Out of Closet

People you see on Facebook, Part 1

A Guide to Facebook Safety for DUrians

Auditory Daydreams

On freedom of religion

Screw you, BN. Hulu Selangor people, you are just so CLEVER.

Why is Justin Jarret so darn Popular?

Han Xern sues blog over misinformation

Woman, child mistakes Justin Jarret for "Scary Indian Man"

"I'd Like To Thank The Academy..."

Malaysia, where anything is possible.

You can't spell your name with a bunch of A's.

So...National Service, Group 2, Series 7/2010

So You Want Straight A+s?

March 8 and the Oscars

Our Day of Reckoning

Riddikulus! Poof Woman turns into Justin Bieber.